Forty Deuce

Monday OOP

I guess at this point I really don't need the highlighter.  Oh well.

Court Philippe Chatrier 11:00
1. Women’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN)[24] v. Serena Williams (USA)[2]
2. Men’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Tommy Haas (GER) v. Roger Federer (SUI)[2]
3. Men’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Juan Martin Del Potro (ARG)[5] v. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (FRA)[9]
4. Women’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Virginie Razzano (FRA) v. Samantha Stosur (AUS)[30]

Court Suzanne Lenglen 11:00
1. Women’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)[7] v. Agnieszka Radwanska (POL)[12]
2. Men’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Tommy Robredo (ESP)[16] v. Philipp Kohlschreiber (GER)[29]
3. Women’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Jelena Jankovic (SRB)[5] v. Sorana Cirstea (ROU)
4. Men’s Singles – 4th Rnd.
Andy Roddick (USA)[6] v. Gael Monfils (FRA)[11]

Pic This: Good Things *Did* Happen Today.

Here's the thing.  As much as it sucked that Rafa lost at least now we have an interesting tournament on the men's side.  I honestly have no idea how thing's are going to shake out.

Must be weird to actually have the Parisians on your side.


Kolya's got your balls.  Tough for Fer.  Really thought he'd make a run here.

 
Nice to see Muzz saluting his fallen Falcon friend and rocking the White Hat of Dorkitude. 
And looking hot in it, I might add.


Ruh roh.  Dina's beauty salon is open for business.  Kid's getting ready for her closeup.


Show me where the bad man touched you, Marin.


Well, Viko, have the lambs stopped screaming?


At first I thought this pic was stitched together.  Something about it looks surreal.


Nice to see Jay-Z still in the tourney, even if for dubs.  Lavender Jie has a calming effect on me.


You *should* hide your face, Agnes.  That was just sorry.

Time For Vacay.

 
For the record, I feel the same way about Ana's loss as Rafa's.  Did it have to be Viko?  We all knew she was going to lose (heck I thought she was going out in the first round).  But Viko???  I'm not sure how much more of pigeon toed Ana crying as she leaves the court I can take.  Mucho sadness. Probably should get ready to see again at Wimbly though.

So pairing up Sad!Ana with Despondent!Rafa? Well that's just like watching a wounded baby elephant getting licked by a one-eyed puppy.

Wait.  That didn't come out right.

 

Rafa's presser:

Ana's presser:

Pic This: Faces of Evil

Is it just me or does Vika look like she's going to puke whenever she gets excited.  Or maybe I just want to puke.  Either way, for my two faves to lose to the only two players that I actually hate?  Sad Sunday.

[Barf] She makes Sod look like an angel.




Ok.  I'm over it.  Time to move on.

Gael Monfils: The JJ of the ATP

 

Going through the pictures from yesterday it finally dawned on me as to why I have a love hate relationship with LaMonf.  He's the JJ of the ATP.  Or at least the JJ of old.

There's always drama in his matches, he runs down everything, he frustrates his opponents to no end, he calls the trainer all the time, and even if you don't watch his matches you can tell crazy shit happened just by looking at the pics.

He's so entertaining to watch but at the same time I find myself rolling my eyes a lot of the time, what with all the histrionics.

Kid does things on court that are just mindboggling.  But in-between those amazing points are points of idiocy or unnecessary drama, faux heavy breathing, etc.  I'm conflicted between being totally entertained and kinda wishing he'd just cool it and just play.  Not unlike how I feel about JJ at times.

And he's a drama queen.  Obvs. 

Someone find me some glitter!

Oh, and in case you missed it, disgustingly awesome:

Kneel Before Sod!

Ok, Rafa fans, here we go.

This day was inevitable.  Rafa was going to lose at RG eventually.  The fact that he lost today doesn't really explain the depth of my disappointment.

 
IT'S THAT HE LOST TO THIS FUCKER!!!

 
I mean, seriously.  Even if he got waxed by Fed in the finals, I would not be as completely gutted as I am today.  Hell, losing to ANYONE ELSE (except maybe Viko) would have been fine.  But to come out and lose to the most evil of evils?  There is simply no justice.

But on the serious, it was a tough match to watch.  Sod played as well as he could possibly play, booming serves and cracking forehands left and right.  And for all of Rafa's efforts he just couldn't push Sod off the baseline.  Those normally penetrating high topspin kickers that land 2 inches inside the line just weren't there today.  Almost everything he hit bounced 2 feet from the service line. 

And something was up.  It wasn't all that dissimilar from Nole's match.  Rafa just wasn't able to dig deep and up his level.  Sure, he fought as best as he can fight.  But there was none of that pitbull "take a bite and don't let go" attitude today. 

Obviously all the journos jumped on his heavy schedule during his presser, but Rafa was having none of it:

Q. Do you think you maybe played too many tournaments lately? How are you going to prepare for Wimbledon?

RAFAEL NADAL: Yeah, when you lose, always everybody starts to analyze if I play too much. If I'm tired. The true, I won four years in a row playing the same. That's the true. This year I play the same and I lost. What happen? I lost. That's it.

That what happened. I lost another opportunity to win a big tournament here. Always is a big loss for me. But in the end is one more match, yeah.

Well obviously this thing is now Fed's to lose.  With Rafa no longer looming you have to think he'll relax a bit and start steamrolling.  At leat that's what I think.  Even if he's dropped some sets heading in, unless your name is Rafa, you can't take three sets off Fed on clay.

That said...GO ANYONE ELSE BUT FED!!!

Mullet With Headlights....

Ok. So I'm completely discombobulated and borderline depressed.  Actually, I'm not even depressed.  I'm just...confused.  Completely confuzzled.  You win, tennis gods.  You win.

But I will get my revenge.  And it begins here.  I've been in a bit of funk today (doesn't help that I slept until 1:30pm) but this, this has snapped me out of it.

Thanks, donkeygrooming.  I needed that.

Bizarro Week Flummoxes Carrie: WTA Edition

Okay, so, it has to be done.  We all know it.  Think of it as ripping a Band-Aid off.  Do it fast and don't think about it anymore.  So, as fair warning, I will cover the matches in the following order, in what I think is the order that FDers would prefer to read about them.  This way, you can see the least offensive one first, and then if you want to comment, just click and scroll to the comment box without even looking at the other ones.  At least... that's how I'd do it.  So: Dina/Aravane, Masha/Nails, Domi/Agnes, and then... well, you know.  Just up front, I only saw Dina/Aravane and That Other One.

(I'm trying, y'all.  I am.  I don't know what to say about any of it either.)

Dinara d. Aravane: Yeah, this one still fits into Bizarro Week, IMO, because I still am not convinced that (Pavs match aside) Dinara's been playing all that well.  Today her serve percentage dipped and she had a negative winners/UE ratio.  Still, it's obviously impressive that she can play at maybe 70-80% and absolutely demolish people; it's been a good show and points to some real mental maturity on Dina's part.  Aravane tried to whack the ball around, but Dinara seemed content to put the ball in play and draw the errors from her, showing a patience that she didn't previously possess.  She said in her presser that she knows she can play better, and she thinks she will once she is really pushed by an opponent; she's an experienced (if inconsistent) competitor and seems quietly confident at this point.  Still, the possibility is out there that not having been challenged thus far will hurt her when she needs to step up-- presumably in the quarters against Azarenka, who's been plenty tested and come through.

Masha d. Nails: From the stats, this match looked kind of messy, and no wonder: the "Cow on Ice" who's still not really in match shape, vs. Nails, who is not exactly a clay court specialist herself.  But all credit to Maria-- even not being a fan, it's impossible not to admire her for gritting her way through this tournament.  It's not been easy, and it's not been pretty, but there it is.  Every time I think that she'll surely lose her next match, there she is, so I'm sure she could not possibly be happier with how her first Slam back has gone.

Speaking of not easy and not pretty... (Yes, people, I am handing you the "not easy" joke.  I know people need coping mechanisms.)

Domi d. Agnes: If Masha/Nails looked messy from the stats, this one looked like an absolute disaster.  A combined total of 66 UE and only 17 winners?  Ouch.  Without seeing it, all there is to be said is that they both must have been nervous wrecks.  And of course Agnes having a post-big match letdown is nothing new.  Anyway, not a trainwreck anyone wants to stare at for long.  Moving on...

Yeah.  Sorry.

Vika d. Ana: Vika played well, especially in the first set and a half.  Her serve percentage was somewhere in the low 80s, which is obviously excellent.  But the major story was that Ana looked terrified.  Despite her impressive play in the 2nd and 3rd rounds, today she looked as if-- once matched against an opponent who was a real threat-- she had absolutely no belief that she could control the match.  She had some spots of good play, particularly in the first half of the first set and the last half of the second, and there were some excellent rallies in those portions of the match.  But mostly, she looked scared.  Tentative shotmaking, overhitting, that toss... it's heartbreaking to watch an athlete who's obviously battling herself as much or more than she's battling her opponent, and that's what Ana looked like today.  As for the reports of neck pain and dizzyness, hopefully it's nothing serious and can be taken care of relatively quickly.  

See?  Not so bad.  I hope.  And now it's done.  Move along, everyone.

Can We Get Together on This One?

Bizarro Week AWESOMENESS:

Funnest doubles team ev-ah!  That was a great match between them and Serena/Venus, and Beth and Nads looked beyond thrilled to win it.  They play Black/Huber next, but whatever, it's been awesome while it's lasted!

You Win, Bizarro Week. You Win.

I had to leave right after the 3rd set of Nadal/Soderling.  And I come back to... uh, what?  

Anarchy.  That's all this is.  Anarchy.  Hopefully I'll be more coherent later, right now I'm so stunned I can't even imagine looking for pictures.

P.S.-- The sixth plague is unhealable boils.  Be on the lookout.

Dear Ana Fans

I know you may not believe me when I say this, but I am really, really sorry about that.  That was hard to watch. Have a drink or 10 or 20.  It's on me.

Love, 

Carrie 

Air Quotes: I Don't Know Where to Go With *Any* of This

What’s the best concert you’ve seen? 
It was in Abu Dhabi on New Year’s Eve. I took part in an exhibition and then went to a Shakira concert in a 7 star hotel. It was the most amazing show I’ve ever seen.

...

When was your first kiss? 
There have been so many I can’t remember!

...

Who’s the nicest guy on tour? 
They’re all really nice: Federer, Nadal. All of the guys in the top 100 are cool. But if you asked me which one was the best looking I’d say Feliciano Lopez. Everyone thinks he’s gorgeous, with his blue eyes and curly hair. 

-- Up Close and Personal with Nikolai Davydenko

"I wear black on the outside, 'cause black is how I feel on the inside."

Unloveable?  Nah.  Especially after reading this article:

'To be honest, I struggled with growing up in public; it’s very hard being a teenager and having this feeling that everyone is watching you. I hadn’t achieved anything in tennis and wasn’t particularly good until Wimbledon 2005. I won a couple of matches, and from no one having any interest in me, all of a sudden there was a lot of pressure and a tremendous amount of expectation. I was 18 years old and had no experience of how to deal with it. To begin with, it all seemed great fun, I enjoyed it, went along with it, and was open with people – then some things started to backfire.’

One such moment came in New Zealand: in explaining a defeat, he said that he had served like a girl. It was supposed to have been a self- deprecating comment, but blew up into a political argument. A couple of similar experiences have made him much more circumspect.

'It’s hard to explain to anyone who hasn’t been through a similar experience how it feels, but essentially my whole life, on and off the court, was like being in a goldfish bowl,’ he says. 'Suddenly people were scrutinising every word I said, and I hadn’t been prepared for that, so I just went into my shell and tried to cut myself off as much as possible. It made things easier.'

He pauses and smiles; there’s a little hurt in his face. One senses that he felt let down: people asked his opinion, he was encouraged to lighten up, but when he did he paid a heavy price for it. Henman once told me that although he always gave anodyne answers to questions, he had many strong opinions beneath the surface. The reason he didn’t voice them was that he didn’t want to turn on Radio Five Live on his way home and hear an argument raging about something he had said, or have to explain himself at heated press conferences – better just play with a straight bat.

...

Nevertheless, he lives a modest life, frequently travels by Tube; has little interest in clothes, and his principal interests outside sport, like so many of his age, are music and computer games. 'I am very proud of the fact that even though my circumstances have changed, my lifestyle away from tennis is still very much the same,’ he says. 'I have the same group of friends, I don’t drink, I don’t go out to nightclubs. I live a very simple life. I like to go to the cinema or go for a meal with my girlfriend, or stay and watch a DVD.

Here's my favorite part:

'Someone asked me recently, which would I prefer; to be number 25 in the world and happy or number one and unhappy because of the pressure? To me that’s a no-brainer. To me it’s all about winning. When I am serving to win a match, I get nervous. Not because I’m thinking about the cheque – it’s all about wanting to beat Rafael Nadal or Roger Federer. It’s not about the money.’

Rule Britannia.

Air Quotes: "Excuse me, I'll have a Pina Colada. *Not* Virgin."

Q. You’ve not been to Angelina’s yet since you’ve been here?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: No, I haven’t, but I’ve been to La Durée.

Q. They have a fantastic new macaron for this summer.

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Do they?

Q. Yeah. Rum, lime, and chestnut cream?

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Rum? Oh, I think I’ll need that for after the tournament. That’s probably why I haven’t been there yet.

Q. Since you’re talking to us about cocktails the other day, this one is called a Mojito.

MARIA SHARAPOVA: I was talking about cocktails?

Q. Yeah, about how you could have been having Piña Coladas on the beach.

MARIA SHARAPOVA: Oh, right. But okay. I’m not virgin, but okay.

[Cue awkward silence.]

"All By Myself..."

The tennis world has passed poor Maratski by. No wonder he wants to get the hell out of dodge.

Question: Is Dina Ever *On*? Methinks not.

Dina's interview with Bill McAtee on French Open Tonight.

Like I said on my Twitter feed the other day, it's like watching a prosecutor exam a bored 8 year old. Awesome.

Air Quotes: You Could Be On to Something...

"Why does some drama always happen to me? ...It happens in my private life, too. Always drama. I’m like one of those girls on a reality show that has all the drama and everyone in the house hates them because no matter what they do, like, drama follows them. I don’t want to be that girl. But it always seems to happen. I’m beginning to think it’s me."
-- Serena Williams, on ArmGate

Pic This: Ultimate Miscellany (ATP Edition)

Not that creepy out of context, maybe, but imagine Maximo Gonzalez sitting just like this, unblinking, for an entire changeover.  Because that's what he did.

Britain's Got Talent.

Love.  The Bullring just looks like the coolest place to camp out for a day.

Is there any better combination in tennis than good sports photographers and Gael Monfils?  92%.

Where there is a 92%, there must be an 8%.  In this case... Igor's hair, lending itself to general dorkitude.

Tennis as Art: The Scream

Heh.  Mutt and Jeff.

Sadness.  Still cute, though.

Freaky.

Now What?

"Nole's" quarter is a total crapshoot now.  I mean...

 

 

... this is who we've got left.

It's no collection of schlubs, but it's not exactly a collection of clay court stahs, either.  It's not a complete crapshoot... it seems like the smart pick for the semis would be whoever comes out of the JMDP/Jo-Willy 4th round match.  Both of them have been playing well, JMDP handling the pressure of being "the best of the rest" very well for his first Slam at #5, especially considering it's not his strongest surface.  Same for Jo-Willy, except substitute "playing in front of a volatile, demanding home crowd" for "best of the rest".  Picking this one feels impossible, hopefully that match will live up to its potential.

I don't know what to think about Disco Tommy and PEHK.  Disco Tommy dropped his first set today against Maximo Gonzalez and then ended up beating him 6-4 6-1 6-0.  He's been winning fairly easily, but his draw has been pretty empty.  PEHK, of course, had his decisive win against Novak today, and it was impressive, but it's impossible to discount how tired and uninspired Novak was.  Who knows?  According to Wikipedia (so you know the information is absolutely unassailable), Tommy's made the QFs at RG every other year since 2003.  Continue the pattern or break it?  Who knows?

Yeah.  This is pretty much pointless except to say that this quarter is now hella confusing.  And exciting.

Pic This: Hey Brodie, Need A Summer Job?

The WTA might need to get a TRO.

RG: Sunday OOP

Court Philippe Chatrier 11:00

1. Men's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Fernando Gonzalez (CHI)[12] v. Victor Hanescu (ROU)[30]

2. Women's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Dinara Safina (RUS)[1] v. Aravane Rezai (FRA)

3. Men's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Rafael Nadal (ESP)[1] v. Robin Soderling (SWE)[23]

4. Women's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Maria Sharapova (RUS) v. Na Li (CHN)[25]

Court Suzanne Lenglen 11:00

1. Women's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Agnes Szavay (HUN)[29] v. Dominika Cibulkova (SVK)[20]

2. Men's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Andy Murray (GBR)[3] v. Marin Cilic (CRO)[13]

3. Women's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Victoria Azarenka (BLR)[9] v. Ana Ivanovic (SRB)[8]

4. Men's Singles - 4th Rnd.

Nikolay Davydenko (RUS)[10] v. Fernando Verdasco (ESP)[8]

Court 1 11:00

1. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Zi Yan (CHN)[16] v. Samantha Stosur (AUS)[4]

Jie Zheng (CHN)[16] Rennae Stubbs (AUS)[4]

2. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Rik De Voest (RSA)[14] v. Bob Bryan (USA)[2]

Ashley Fisher (AUS)[14] Mike Bryan (USA)[2]

3. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA)[10] v. Serena Williams (USA)[5]

Nadia Petrova (RUS)[10] Venus Williams (USA)[5]

4. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Jose Acasuso (ARG) v. Mahesh Bhupathi (IND)[4]

Fernando Gonzalez (CHI) Mark Knowles (BAH)[4]

Court 2 11:00

1. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Agnieszka Radwanska (POL) v. Kveta Peschke (CZE)[2]

Urszula Radwanska (POL) Lisa Raymond (USA)[2]

2. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

T.B.D. v. Christopher Kas (GER)

Rogier Wassen (NED)

3. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Marc Lopez (ESP) v. Michael Kohlmann (GER)

Tommy Robredo (ESP) Alexander Waske (GER)

4. Mixed Doubles

Elena Vesnina (RUS)[6] v. Nathalie Dechy (FRA)

Daniel Nestor (CAN)[6] Andy Ram (ISR)

5. Mixed Doubles

T.B.D. v. Ai Sugiyama (JPN)[5]

Andre Sa (BRA)[5]

Court 3 11:00

1. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Devin Britton (USA) v. Gianni Mina (FRA)[11]

2. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Silvia Njiric (CRO)[11] v. Caroline Garcia (FRA)

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Andrei Vasilevs.i (BLR) v. Bernard Tomic (AUS)[2]

4. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

David Souto (VEN)[12] v. Yann Renault (FRA)

Court 4 11:00

1. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Timea Babos (HUN)[4] v. Hannah James (GBR)

2. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Valeria Solovieva (RUS) v. Camila Silva (CHI)[10]

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Federico Gaio (ITA) v. Evan King (USA)

4. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Tamara Curovic (SRB) v. Jana Cepelova (SVK)

Court 5 11:00

1. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Renzo Olivo (ARG) v. Jordan Cox (USA)

2. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Grace Sari Ysidora (INA) v. Elena Bogdan (ROU)[8]

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Dominik Schulz (GER)[14] v. Dino Marcan (CRO)

4. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Christina Mchale (USA)[14] v. Martina Trevisan (ITA)

Court 6 11:00

1. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Patrk Brydolf (SWE) v. Benjamin Cselenko (FRA)

2. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Linda Berlinecke (GER) v. Nathalie Mohn (FRA)

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Alexander Domijan (USA) v. Mick Lescure (FRA)

4. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Charlotte Rodier (FRA) v. Beatrice Capra (USA)

Court 7 11:00

1. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Pierre-Hugues Herbert (FRA) v. Jose Pereira (BRA)[15]

2. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Ajla Tomljanovic (CRO)[6] v. Clothilde De Bernardi (FRA)

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Cedrick Commin (FRA) v. Tiago Fernandes (BRA)

4. Mixed Doubles

T.B.D. v. Alisa Kleybanova (RUS)

Bruno Soares (BRA)

5. Mixed Doubles

Lisa Raymond (USA)[3] v. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER)

Marcin Matkowski (POL)[3] Mark Knowles (BAH)

Court 8 11:00

1. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Nastja Kolar (SLO) v. Lauren Embree (USA)[7]

2. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Shuichi Sekiguchi (JPN)[4] v. Dominik Wirlend (AUT)

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Filip Horansky (SVK) v. Mitchell Frank (USA)

4. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Elora Dabija (ROU) v. Nataliya Pintusova (BLR)

Court 9 11:00

1. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Cheng Peng Hsieh (TPE)[8] v. Mikhail Biryukov (RUS)

2. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Daria Salnikova (RUS) v. Alejandra Granillo (MEX)

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Emanuele Molina (ITA) v. Sandro Ehrat (SUI)

4. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Daria Gavrilova (RUS) v. Mallory Burdette (USA)

Court 10 11:00

1. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Quirine Lemoine (NED) v. Sloane Stephens (USA)[15]

2. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Facundo Arguello (ARG)[9] v. Daniel Berta (SWE)

3. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Bianca Botto (PER) v. Paula Ormaechea (ARG)

4. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Ulrikke Eikeri (NOR) v. Zarina Diyas (KAZ)

Court 11 11:00

1. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Riki Mclachlan (NZL) v. Kevin Krawietz (GER)

2. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Nikila Scholtz (RSA) v. Emilio Gomez (ECU)

3. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Valeria Savinykh (RUS) v. Alexandra Krunic (SRB)

4. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Stanislav Poplavs.yy (UKR) v. Tennys Sandgren (USA)[13]

Court 14 11:00

1. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Irina Khromacheva (RUS) v. An-Sophie Mestach (BEL)

2. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Anna Orlik (BLR) v. Polina Leykina (RUS)

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Radim Urbanek (CZE) v. Andrea Collarini (ARG)[3]

4. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Solene Ficheux (FRA) v. Stephanie Cornish (GBR)

Court 16 11:00

1. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Yana Buchina (RUS) v. Isabella Holland (AUS)

2. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Antoine Escoffier (FRA) v. Henri Laaksonen (FIN)

3. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Zsofia Susanyi (HUN) v. Olivia Rogowska (AUS)[12]

4. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Hiroyasu Ehara (JPN) v. Tak Khunn Wang (FRA)

Court 17 11:00

1. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Ksenia Kirillova (RUS) v. Cindy Chala (FRA)

2. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Constantin Belot (FRA) v. Pablo Carreno-Busta (ESP)

3. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Liang-Chi Huang (TPE)[1] v. Richard Becker (GER)

4. Boys' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Yannik Reuter (BEL)[16] v. Jozef Kovalik (SVK)

5. Girls' Singles - 1st Rnd.

Vivien Juhaszova (SVK) v. Ksenia Pervak (RUS)[3]

Air Quotes: If You Can't Play Topless in Paris, Where Can You?

"It's my mistake, I know. I knew I couldn't place it exactly here. It had to be placed on the side, on the shoulder, almost. She said, Well, you have to use another T‑shirt, otherwise you might be fined. I said, Please try and find me a T‑shirt, because I said I have no other T‑shirt. Either it's bare chested or naked or this way, and never mind the fine."

-- Virginie Razzano, on the WTA getting all hot 'n bothered over the placement of her required SEWTA patch 

...

Oh, and also...

"The only thing I would be jealous about is if a girl steals my man. That's when I would be jealous. Frankly, if anybody goes close to my man, no,I couldn't stand that. That's when I would be jealous. That's all. Don't get close to my man."

Consider yourselves warned.

"What's Your Name?"

The other reason JJ should consider retiring if she doesn't make it out of her quarter: hasta luego, Boots.  I didn't see a single second of this match, but I'll go ahead and throw out a "well done" to Sorana and a "hard luck" to Caro-- it seems like the thing to do.

So... I Won't Be Playing "4" In the Lottery Anytime Soon.

Both of them.  Out.  Just like that.  Freaky.  Lena D's been riding a wave of mediocrity ever since she lost the Gaz de France final to Amelie; Novak seemed to have been picking up his pace of late.  Never mind, the end result was the same:

Even the matches were kind of eerily similar.  Sam and PEHK: both relentlessy consistent.  Novak and Elena: both... not.  Elena's serve was, for the most part, predictably horrible.  Novak was mostly spraying shots all over the place.  The elimination of their respecive #4 seeds has kind of opposite effects on the men's and women's draws, though: Novak's quarter is now in complete disarray, while if JJ doesn't make it out of Elena's, she should seriously consider focusing on her design career.  Such as it is.

Nothing but love for PEHK and Sam, though.  Sam's been karmically due a nice run somewhere and, well, who can hate on PhilippKohslchreiber.de*?  Only someone with a far harder heart than I have (mathematically impossible).

*Seriously, if you haven't been, go.  It's awesome.

Pic This: TGIF (Grainy, Like Real Scrambled Porn)

Right on daytime TV!  Naughty.

RG: Saturday OOP

As of 9:30 pm EDT, the Azarenka/Suarez Navarro match suspended at 7-5 5-7 is not on the OOP for Saturday.  I'll update if it shows up.

Court Philippe Chatrier 11:00

1. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Samantha Stosur (AUS)[30] v. Elena Dementieva (RUS)[4]

2. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Tathiana Garbin (ITA) v. Virginie Razzano (FRA)

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Christophe Rochus (BEL) v. Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (FRA)[9]

4. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Paul-Henri Mathieu (FRA)[32] v. Roger Federer (SUI)[2]

Court Suzanne Lenglen 11:00

1. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Svetlana Kuznetsova (RUS)[7] v. Melinda Czink (HUN)

2. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Andy Roddick (USA)[6] v. Marc Gicquel (FRA)

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Jurgen Melzer (AUT)[24] v. Gael Monfils (FRA)[11]

4. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez (ESP) v. Serena Williams (USA)[2]

Court 1 11:00

1. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Tommy Haas (GER) v. Jeremy Chardy (FRA)

2. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Jelena Jankovic (SRB)[5] v. Jarmila Groth (AUS)

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Philipp Kohlschreiber (GER)[29] v. Novak Djokovic (SRB)[4]

4. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Sorana Cirstea (ROU) v. Caroline Wozniacki (DEN)[10]

Court 2 11:00

1. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Lukas Dlouhy (CZE)[3] v. Julien Benneteau (FRA)

Leander Paes (IND)[3] Nicolas Mahut (FRA)

2. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Kateryna Bondarenko (UKR) v. Agnieszka Radwanska (POL)[12]

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Juan Martin Del Potro (ARG)[5] v. Igor Andreev (RUS)[25]

4. Mixed Doubles

Aurelie Vedy (FRA) v. Ai Sugiyama (JPN)[5]

Josselin Ouanna (FRA) Andre Sa (BRA)[5]

Court 3 11:00

1. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Johan Brunstrom (SWE) v. Mahesh Bhupathi (IND)[4]

Jean-Julien Rojer (AHO) Mark Knowles (BAH)[4]

2. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Andrei Pavel (ROU) v. Bob Bryan (USA)[2]

Horia Tecau (ROU) Mike Bryan (USA)[2]

3. Mixed Doubles

Sania Mirza (IND) v. Nathalie Dechy (FRA)

Mahesh Bhupathi (IND) Andy Ram (ISR)

4. Mixed Doubles

Sybille Bammer (AUT) v. Cara Black (ZIM)[2]

Lukasz Kubot (POL) Leander Paes (IND)[2]

5. Mixed Doubles

Pauline Parmentier (FRA) v. Camille Pin (FRA)

Marc Gicquel (FRA) Gilles Simon (FRA)

Court 6 11:00

1. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Rik De Voest (RSA)[14] v. Dusan Vemic (SRB)

Ashley Fisher (AUS)[14] Mischa Zverev (GER)

2. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Cara Black (ZIM)[1] v. Vania King (USA)[13]

Liezel Huber (USA)[1] Monica Niculescu (ROU)[13]

3. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Jose Acasuso (ARG) v. Guillermo Garcia-Lopez (ESP)

Fernando Gonzalez (CHI) Sergio Roitman (ARG)

4. Mixed Doubles

Su-Wei Hsieh (TPE) v. Nadia Petrova (RUS)[4]

Ashley Fisher (AUS) Max Mirnyi (BLR)[4]

Court 7 11:00

1. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Daniela Hantuchova (SVK)[7] v. Su-Wei Hsieh (TPE)[9]

Ai Sugiyama (JPN)[7] Shuai Peng (CHN)[9]

2. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Lourdes Dominguez Lino (ESP) v. Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN)[24]

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Tommy Robredo (ESP)[16] v. Maximo Gonzalez (ARG)

4. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Daniel Nestor (CAN)[1] v. Leos Friedl (CZE)

Nenad Zimonjic (SRB)[1] David Skoch (CZE)

Court 14 12:00

1. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Jaroslav Levinsky (CZE) v. Bruno Soares (BRA)[5]

Igor Zelenay (SVK) Kevin Ullyett (ZIM)[5]

2. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

A. Medina Garrigues (ESP)[3] v. Vera Dushevina (RUS)

Virginia Ruano Pascual (ESP)[3] Anastasia Rodionova (AUS)

3. Mixed Doubles

Liezel Huber (USA)[1] v. Flavia Pennetta (ITA)

Bob Bryan (USA)[1] Dusan Vemic (SRB)

Court 16 12:00

1. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER)[11] v. Maria Kirilenko (RUS)[8]

Patty Schnyder (SUI)[11] Flavia Pennetta (ITA)[8]

2. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

David Ferrer (ESP) v. Christopher Kas (GER)

Daniel Gimeno-Traver (ESP) Rogier Wassen (NED)

3. Mixed Doubles

Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) v. Iveta Benesova (CZE)

Mark Knowles (BAH) Lukas Dlouhy (CZE)

4. Mixed Doubles

Vania King (USA) v. Severine Bremond Beltrame (FRA)

Marcelo Melo (BRA) Robert Lindstedt (SWE)

Court 17 11:00

1. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Wesley Moodie (RSA) v. Simon Aspelin (SWE)

Dick Norman (BEL) Paul Hanley (AUS)

2. Men's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

T.B.D. v. Pablo Cuevas (URU)[8]

Luis Horna (PER)[8]

3. Women's Doubles - 3rd Rnd.

Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS) v. Victoria Azarenka (BLR)[12]

Francesca Schiavone (ITA) Elena Vesnina (RUS)[12]

4. Mixed Doubles

Gisela Dulko (ARG) v. Yaroslava Shvedova (KAZ)

Pablo Cuevas (URU) Jordan Kerr (AUS)

Even The Gays Hate Viko. That's All I Needed To Know.

The ingenues pose for French FHM (I think).

Somone was acting a diva and someone got jizz in her hair.  Just sayin. 

Do NOT fuck with the 'Mo's.


For a midget she definitely works what she's got.


Chakky!  Well done with your ridix long hair.  I think it kind of steals the show.


Ah, A-Bond.  Sluttin' it  up as per yoosh.

Pic This: So What'd I Miss During My 72 Hour All Nighter?

It's a good day to be Agnes.


We get it.  You're *so* pretty.  Stop.


Something about Pavs is very Mini-Dina.  I can't stop lolling.


Suspect.


Jesus!!!


Devil. 

They are often dressed the same.  Some might argue they have the same sponsor.

Yeah, wrap you little heads around that one, kiddies.  Suck it, C.S. Lewis!


"Pass the dutchie 'round the left hand side, Pass the dutchie on the left hand side."


Show off.


Man.  The 'coon eyes need to go.


Oh, look at you pounding on your heart.  I just want to give you a noogie.


Ana.  Tongue.  Wrinkly Sausage Finger Man Hands. 

You're welcome, boys.


Masha/Dina semis?  Masha/Ana semis?  The world is your oyster.


Gilles Simon: The Daniela Hantuchova of the ATP.  Wear some bike shorts or something. 


I want to go to there.  Minus the RogerSex.  But otherwise, YES.


I'm going to pretend that's Mo in the chair.  Because that makes it 700,000% awesomer.


Never Forget.

Handshake of the Year (2009): Nominee

MLDB v Rezai  Uploaded by SteffiGrafWIMBY

Feel the love.

Skinny Guys Everyone Forgot About

  

Yeah... those guys.  Every single slam, I look over the draws at the end of the first week and have 3-4 "oh... that guy?  Really??" revelations.  Marin Cilic is definitely one of those... his career record on clay is, uh, less than stellar.  But if Super Mario can't be here, it's nice to see his younger sidekick doing well. Except for the second set, it was a relatively routine win over Stepanek, which seems like a pretty good result. The Worm's a solid clay court player, and it seems like Marin played a decent match.  

It's not necessarily surprising that Kolya would still be in this, but it's so good to see him back and playing well.  I don't know what his expectations were coming into Roland Garros, but coming off a long injury layoff, it would have been reasonable for them to be fairly low.  Hopefully that match against Nando will live up to its potential, their head to head is 4-1 Davydenko, but they're even on clay and Nando is obviously a completely different player than he was last time they played (3 years ago).

And, finally, the love child of Tim Henman and Pete Sampras took out an injured Gilly in straights.  Oh well, Gilly.  Oh well.  I didn't see it, but I can't possibly hold a grudge against anyone who reminds me even remotely of Tim Henman, so roll on Victor Hanescu.  I guess.

You Saw It Coming, Right?

Well, well, well...

... look who's back!

I have to say that I was not surprised at all that Agnes took Venus out, even though due to my intense sports superstition I was too afraid to actually contemplate that possibility in my mind beforehand, much less say it out loud anywhere.  But I don't see how this can actually be that big a surprise to anyone-- Venus had gone 3 sets in her first two matches, Agnes was winning easily.  Venus, due to some bad luck with scheduling, was playing every day; Agnes, presumably, was well-rested and has been rounding back into form for awhile.  Add in that clay is Venus's weakest surface, and this was obviously going to be Agnes's best chance to take her down.  

Oh well, Venus.  You defended your points and I read somewhere that every time you've gone out in the 3rd round of RG, you've followed it up by winning Wimbledon.  See you at SW19!

Agnes's opponent in the 4th round will be Dominika Cibulkova, who's also been moving solidly and quietly through the draw.  That could be an interesting match.  Ah, so happy to see Agnes playing well again.  One final thought...

... you and your doubles partner with the PDAs.  Calm that shit down, girls.

Dear Pavs: You're Hired.

God, she's adorable, what with the headband and the matching nail art and the general cuteness.

Anyway, Pavs, it's official.  You're on the payroll.  Dinara needed a match with someone who was willing to go toe-to-toe with her, and you gave it to her (okay, at least you gave her a set).  She needed someone to make her realize that playing 9 feet behind the baseline is a crappy strategy, and you fed her dropshots and short balls until it hammered through her thick skull.  She needed someone who was going to force her to step her game up from where it had been languishing in idle, and you did.

(Ha!  Adidas matching.)

Poor Pavs.  She threw the kitchen sink at Dina in the first set, even had a positive winners/UE ratio, and still lost it 6-2.  It was sad to watch her collapse in the second set, at least until she stepped it up at 0-5.  First set she was willing to try anything, second set she looked like she didn't believe there was anything she could do that would work.  Hopefully she and her braces and her headband can get back on track for some solid wins over the summer, I just love how plucky she is.

Dinara, for her part, finally seemed to process that playing "her game" is all well and good, but sometimes your game needs to incorporate things other than running around 3 meters behind the baseline.  It seemed to click late in the first set and she never looked back.  The other sign that her head finally came together, at least for today, at least for this match?  No searching for Zeljko between sets, games, points, shots, or other discernable tennis units.  Good for her.

And as far as I'm concerned, Pavs, if Dinara ever needs a practice partner, you're welcome anytime.

Air Quotes: We Should Be So Lucky

"I think she's just going through a phase."
-- Aravane Rezai, on Michelle Larcher de Brito's on-court screaming.

Air Quotes: Keepin' It In Perspective

Q. ... Were you a bit worried at 5‑1 in the third set?
ROGER FEDERER: Yes, a bit. But I was not afraid to die, so everything was okay.

RG: Friday OOP

Court Philippe Chatrier 11:00

1. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Aravane Rezai (FRA) v. Michelle Larcher De Brito (POR)

2. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Fernando Gonzalez (CHI)[12] v. Josselin Ouanna (FRA)

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Rafael Nadal (ESP)[1] v. Lleyton Hewitt (AUS)

4. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Maria Sharapova (RUS) v. Yaroslava Shvedova (KAZ)

Court Suzanne Lenglen 11:00

1. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Iveta Benesova (CZE)[32] v. Ana Ivanovic (SRB)[8]

Not Before 12:00

2. Men's Singles - 2nd Rnd.

Sergiy Stakhovsky (UKR) v. Novak Djokovic (SRB)[4] (To Finish 6-3 6-4)

3. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd. 

Venus Williams (USA)[3] v. Agnes Szavay (HUN)[29]

4. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Victor Hanescu (ROU)[30] v. Gilles Simon (FRA)[7]

5. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Andy Murray (GBR)[3] v. Janko Tipsarevic (SRB)

Court 1 11:00

1. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Nicolas Almagro (ESP)[31] v. Fernando Verdasco (ESP)[8]

2. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Dinara Safina (RUS)[1] v. Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova (RUS)[27]

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Robin Soderling (SWE)[23] v. David Ferrer (ESP)[14]

4. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Victoria Azarenka (BLR)[9] v. Carla Suarez Navarro (ESP)[22]

Court 2 11:00

1. Women's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

A. Medina Garrigues (ESP)[3] v. Ekaterina Dzehalevich (BLR)

Virginia Ruano Pascual (ESP)[3] Andreja Klepac (SLO)

2. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Dominika Cibulkova (SVK)[20] v. Gisela Dulko (ARG)

3. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Radek Stepanek (CZE)[18] v. Marin Cilic (CRO)[13]

4. Women's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Gisela Dulko (ARG) v. Serena Williams (USA)[5]

Agnes Szavay (HUN) Venus Williams (USA)[5]

Court 3 11:00

1. Women's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA)[10] v. Alona Bondarenko (UKR)

Nadia Petrova (RUS)[10] Kateryna Bondarenko (UKR)

2. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Julien Benneteau (FRA) v. Travis Parrott (USA)[15]

Nicolas Mahut (FRA) Filip Polasek (SVK)[15]

3. Women's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Chia-Jung Chuang (TPE)[14] v. Agnieszka Radwanska (POL)

Sania Mirza (IND)[14] Urszula Radwanska (POL)

4. Men's Doubles - 1st Rnd.

Josselin Ouanna (FRA) v. Mahesh Bhupathi (IND)[4]

Jo-Wilfried Tsonga (FRA) Mark Knowles (BAH)[4]

Court 6 11:00

1. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Simon Aspelin (SWE) v. Frantisek Cermak (CZE)[12]

Paul Hanley (AUS) Michal Mertinak (SVK)[12]

2. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Simone Bolelli (ITA) v. Bruno Soares (BRA)[5]

Andreas Seppi (ITA) Kevin Ullyett (ZIM)[5]

3. Women's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Cara Black (ZIM)[1] v. Jelena Dokic (AUS)

Liezel Huber (USA)[1] Alisa Kleybanova (RUS)

4. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Lukas Dlouhy (CZE)[3] v. James Cerretani (USA)

Leander Paes (IND)[3] Sergiy Stakhovsky (UKR)

Court 7 11:00

1. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Julian Knowle (AUT) v. Pablo Cuevas (URU)[8]

Jurgen Melzer (AUT) Luis Horna (PER)[8]

2. Men's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Nikolay Davydenko (RUS)[10] v. Stanislas Wawrinka (SUI)[17]

3. Women's Singles - 3rd Rnd.

Na Li (CHN)[25] v. Olga Govortsova (BLR)

4. Mixed Doubles

Liezel Huber (USA)[1] v. Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA)

Bob Bryan (USA)[1] Kevin Ullyett (ZIM)

Court 16 11:00

1. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Jaroslav Levinsky (CZE) v. Marcel Granollers (ESP)

Igor Zelenay (SVK) Santiago Ventura (ESP)

2. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Wesley Moodie (RSA) v. Jan Hernych (CZE)

Dick Norman (BEL) Christophe Rochus (BEL)

3. Mixed Doubles

Flavia Pennetta (ITA) v. Kveta Peschke (CZE)

Dusan Vemic (SRB) Frantisek Cermak (CZE)

4. Mixed Doubles

Virginia Ruano Pascual (ESP)[8] v. Vania King (USA)

Stephen Huss (AUS)[8] Marcelo Melo (BRA)

1. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Mariusz Fyrstenberg (POL)[6] v. Marc Lopez (ESP)

Marcin Matkowski (POL)[6] Tommy Robredo (ESP)

Not Before 12:00

2. Men's Singles - 2nd Rnd.

Philipp Kohlschreiber (GER)[29] v. Juan Carlos Ferrero (ESP) (To Finish 6-4 2-6 6-4 6-7(3))

3. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd. 

Michael Kohlmann (GER) v. Lukasz Kubot (POL)[9]

Alexander Waske (GER) Oliver Marach (AUT)[9]

4. Women's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Lourdes Dominguez Lino (ESP) v. Samantha Stosur (AUS)[4]

Sara Errani (ITA) Rennae Stubbs (AUS)[4]

5. Men's Doubles - 2nd Rnd.

Igor Kunitsyn (RUS) v. Fabio Fognini (ITA)

Dmitry Tursunov (RUS) Teimuraz Gabashvili (RUS)

Pic This: Cloudy With a Chance of HoYay

Nom nom nom.

I understand, Jo.  It's overwhelming me a bit, too.

Sad face x 1000.  Poor Jelena.

Smiling, watching the match, relaxed even though her man's in trouble, not on the Blackberry... I dunno, pregnancy agrees with Mirka.  Not to mention, her hair looks fantastic.

Coolness.

I dunno, the size differential cracked me up.  Come on, Serena's not that tall.  What are VRP's stats, is she 4'11" and 70 pounds?

How great umpires are born.

Yahoo tells me this was at RG today and I'm going to choose to believe them, because puppehs are awesome.

And, finally, by popular request...

LOLZ.  That is all.

Mo' MoLay!

Sometimes RolandGarros.com generously does my work for me.  So thoughtful.  Today, Forty Deuce's favourite tennis official got a "One-on-One With..." at RG.com, and since I'm lazy and it's not very long, here it is:

Described by some as the Pierluigi Collina of tennis, Lahyani is difficult to miss on tour thanks to his booming voice and the winning smile that is never far from his lips. Respected by both his peers and the players, he is a top class umpire who puts his success down to “a passion for the job.”

"Umpiring was a hobby that became my profession," explains Lahyani, who was born in Uppsala to Moroccan parents. "I was just a normal boy who liked playing tennis and never dreamed I’d become an umpire. But during the Swedish Masters in 1983, I agreed to lend a hand and sat in the chair. I had a whale of a time umpiring Wilander, Edberg and a few others. That’s where I really caught the bug."

Lahyani obtained his umpiring badge in 1991 and the following year officiated at the Barcelona Olympics as well as tournaments in Nice and Monte Carlo. Since gaining professional status in 1997 he has officiated at countless Grand Slams including 17 consecutive Wimbledons. Lahyani has a unique umpiring style, invariably creating a relaxed atmosphere on the court but always staying focused.

"I’m not a dictator when I get in that chair," he says. "I encourage dialogue. I earn the players’ trust and respect by being communicative and keeping a friendly face." He also has the respect and admiration of the line judges, as one of the Roland Garros officials explains "He puts us at ease. He never hesitates to give a quick wink or nod to let us know we made a good decision. He’s cool. We’re always relaxed when he’s in the chair."

Lahyani can boast that he umpired the only duel between Pete Sampras and Roger Federer (at Wimbledon in 2001) and recalls the recent 3 hour 59 minute nail-biter between Nadal and Djokovic in Madrid as being one of the most exciting matches he has umpired to date.

Overseeing a Grand Slam final is the 40-something umpire’s dream, though it is not an obsession. "It would be a rewarding experience, but I get just as much pleasure from officiating two unknown players in an empty stadium. You know, earning the respect of the players is like a Grand Slam for me!"

Seriously, I was so happy to see it because I haven't seen MoLay once this week and I was beginning to doubt that he was even there.  Which would put a serious damper on my enjoyment of the ATP side of RG.  Then again, perhaps it is my fault for muting my TV so often.  I loved the story of how he got started, though; it sounds for all the world like he was volunteering at the registration booth at the 1983 Swedish Open and at some point they sent out a match, realized they didn't have an umpire, and just asked for volunteers.  Bizarre.

Oh, and also?  The picture is gold:

You stay classy, MoLay.  And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

Musketeer Replacement Auditions?

With one of the four "New Musketeers" out indefinitely (ahem), and three of the originals solidly making their way through the draw, maybe they can find a new fourth in the other remaining Frenchmen in the tournament.  7 in the last 32, c'est super!

Okay, I guess PHM and Gicquel might technically be too old to be Musketeers; still, it's always so nice to see the home team make a good showing at a Slam. They've all had solid performances, which is nice to see, too-- it would be so easy to get unnerved by the home crowd, especially when the home crowd is this one. It's only too bad so many of them are in the same half. Still, Allez les Bleus! I would rate any one of your chances of winning this thing as slim (as I would for anyone not named Rafael Nadal), but holy crap, it would be amazing if one of you did.

Pic This: Seriously, What's He Going To Do If He Wins?

I am officially on the Dina and Jo for RG 08 09 train. 


Because the amount of ecstasy on clay is going be epic.  They're going to need a mop.


Save some for later, dude. 

Ladies, You're Killing Me

Seriously.

Oh Lucie, Lucie.  My poor little Starburst.  So close, yet so far.  Match point?!  She's got to be the biggest "almost" giant slayer in the last month-- almost got Dina, almost got Venus... twice.  This is the kind of stuff that keeps a girl up at night.  Possibly until next clay season.  Good luck with that, Lucie.  (And she lost in doubles, too!  Just not Miss Safarova's day.)

And then there was this...

You know, you'd think that with everything she's been through, Jelena Dokic would be in for a seriously huge karmic payday at some point.  Today felt particularly cruel-- up a set on the number 4 seed, her back seized up while she was waiting to return serve.  She called for the trainer and went off for treatment; when she came back, she was more or less gifted a break by Lena D double faulting (imagine that).  Up a set and a break, and your back gives out again??  That's just mean.  She gutted out two more games before she had to finally say no mas.  Heartbreaking.  If only it had been a half hour later, she might have gotten away with pleading to have the match suspended for darkness, but that's just not the way it goes.  

I hope these two have a good old time with their hotel minibars tonight.  

Air Quotes: Words Fail Me

Actually, I don't even know where to start with Mono's press conference from today.  But it's a must read.

Q. You said her attitude was a bit strange. What do you mean by this?
MARION BARTOLI: Well, it's her clan. When I made unforced errors, her team would shout. It's not sportslike. They're Italians.
Q. You're Italian too. Your grandfather, as well, is Italian.
MARION BARTOLI: I'm from Corsica.

...

Q. What next, then, for you?
MARION BARTOLI: I think there's something called Wimbledon next, so I'll try and get ready for grass. This is it. I'll practice again. That's the only thing I can do.
Q. Maybe you will not really like my question, but don't you think that it's something else that has to be changed when you contemplate a new tournament? It's time for a turn around for you.
MARION BARTOLI: Do you have ideas for me?
Q. Or your coach?
MARION BARTOLI: Oh, you mean changing coaches? You think my coach is really bad?

Supersonic

Look, Sveta, I know you come from a cycling family and all, but in tennis, it's not a race.

There's no particular need to be decimating your opponents in under 50 minutes.  Then again, it did seem pretty cold and gross out there today, so maybe it's just another indicator of your awesomeness that you graciously allowed your opponent to get back inside and have a nice chocolat chaud ASAP.  No wonder everyone loves you so much.

(Seriously, 25 winners in 49 minutes?  [giggle])

Allez!

Hey, look who was back at Roland Garros!

I'm totally willing to accept that I may be Justine Henin's only fan, but I miss her. Her decision to retire last year was obviously the right one, though-- she seems happy and settled. She was on hand today for the naming of "Allée Justine Henin", which I can only imagine is a pathway in the complex, as in, "Hey, where's that Häagen-Dazs booth?" "Oh, right down there on Allée Justine Henin."  

Nice to see you, Justine.  Good luck with that reality show and fixing DR Congo.

Pic This: It Finally Gets Interesting

Get ready, Paris.  If you hated Shrieka, you're going to hate this one.

Disco Cone won a match!  And gave an awesome presser to boot.

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I'm sorry.  What were we talking about?  My mind wandered.

Uh.  Ok.

Yes, we can smell what Marat is cooking.  And it smells like a big pile of bullshit.

I don't know why I thought Jay-Z would do well here. 

It's ok, Purple One.  Go get ready for Wimbly.

Le sigh.  Love you.

I look through a lot of tennis pictures everyday.  And the reality is that these players are so technically sound that it becomes rare that you see an action shot of a player that looks new. 

This one looked new.  Her face isn't all contorted, she's balanced, and she's statuesque. 

Love it.

Agnes rockin the punk Fila dress.  She won!  I can't really explain my affinity for Agnes. But I'm really happy she's winning again.

Dear Lucie: Get. It. Done.

I know you won't.  But I'd be remiss if I didn't make my wishes known.

Callin' Out.

All credit to ESPN for calling itself out.  From their 5 things we learned today feature:

1. Dinara Safina is playing like the favorite: Through two rounds she has lost a total of exactly … uh, two games -- in less than two hours. The No. 1-ranked Russian rolled qualifier Vitalia Diatchenko 6-1, 6-1. Since she ascended to the top spot, Safina has won 16 of her 17 matches on clay. She got to the final here a year ago and made the Australian Open final earlier this year. This, clearly, represents her best chance to join brother Marat as a Grand Slam champion.

Safina's coach, Zeljko Krajan -- naturally -- was again disappointed in her play.

"If one day he's going to be happy, I think I'll finish my career," she said. "He's never happy. Even today, he's not happy."

2. And Ana Ivanovic is starting to play like the defending champion: There have been some dicey moments this year -- like losing in the third round of the Australian Open and her second matches in Miami and Rome -- but her form seems to be returning.

Ivanovic torched Tamarine Tanasugarn 6-1, 6-2 and she said she thinks she can repeat at Roland Garros.

"I do," she said, "and I worked very hard for it and know I have a game."

3. ESPN.com's "experts" asleep at the wheel: The four women tabbed by six ESPN.com writers as sleepers -- Amelie Mauresmo (2), Patty Schnyder (2), Sabine Lisicki and Kaia Kanepi -- all lost in the first round. Sleepers, did we say sleepers? We meant to place them in the early-exit category.

"If Gulbis loses, I'm completely inept with my pre-tournament picks," said tennis writer Bonnie Ford, eyeing the scoreboard with disgust early in the day.

Ten minutes later, Ernests Gulbis -- Ford's male sleeper -- fell to Nicolas Almagro in four sets. What's the French word for inept?

"Incapable," said Ford, who speaks fluent French, explaining that the word is the same in both English and French.

4. Andy Roddick is the last American man standing: As a corollary to No. 3 -- and a public service, no doubt -- we are compelled to further mention that no fewer than four ESPN.com experts (who shall remain nameless) chose Roddick as their candidate for an early exit. With the loss by California native Robert Kendrick to Gilles Simon in the second round, 5-7, 0-6, 1-6, Roddick is the LAMS.

Did we mention that Simon and fellow Frenchman Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, who now appear to be in terrific form, were the other two early-exit choices?

Tapping Momo as a sleeper and Gilly and Jo as early exits weren't bad calls.  But Sabine?  Everyone knew she was pretty injured coming into RG.  Kaia Kanepi?  Uh...yeah...I don't know what that was about. 

But really, say it with me...ERNIE???

I guess I don't really understand how Bonnie Ford can be SO SHOCKED that Ernie lost.  My only guess is that while the rest of us are waking up in the middle of the night to watch Ernie lose ever so beautifully (though let's face it, he hasn't been losing beautifully lately) Bonnie's doing the smart and rational thing and sleeping. 

Pfft.  Weak humans.

Pic This: Augh. What A Raging Bitch.

Air Quotes: Sorry. I Don't Have Any Snark On This One.

"I know what I'm capable of out there. I know what I've done before. And I know I can do it again and even better."

-- Masha, reflecting on her comeback. 

But this made me tear up:

She smiled as she looked up at her coach, Michael Joyce, who traveled back and forth weekly between Los Angeles and Phoenix with Sharapova when she was rehabilitating her shoulder. As Sharapova beamed, Joyce stood and pounded his right fist over his heart.

Air Quotes: Even The Man In The Moon Is Cryin'

"Well, as you can see, I didn't draw the heart, and I didn't lay down and I didn't cry and I didn't all those things ... it's not me.  (It's) a terrible way to finish with the French Open but anyway ... it's okay. It's not so sad. (It) doesn't get me emotional."

-- Maratski, on playing his last match at Roland Garros.

Pic This: Save To File.

Why do I have the feeling I'm going to be whipping this pic out down the road.