Forty Deuce

Spaniard, Swiss, Serb, and Brit.

Did Roger switch to Lacoste?  I'm so confused.

Here are your final four in Monte Carlo.  Andy and Rafa survived their double days and will face each other.  Muzz has got to be emotionally and physically drained after his tight 1 and half matches.  But it'll be fun to see how he matches up to Rafa on clay. 

And in the other semifinal it'll be Nole and Stanley.  Stanley always plays Nole tough so that'll be a fun one as well.  Nole's looking awfully comfy on the clay, no?

Tomorrow's OOP:

COURT CENTRAL start 11:30 am
[1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) vs [3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND)
Not Before 1:30 PM
[3] N Djokovic (SRB) vs [13] S Wawrinka (SUI)
[1] R Nadal (ESP) vs [4] A Murray (GBR)
N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) vs [2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB)

Pic This: Janko's Got A Girlfriend, C Note Has A Sad Face

According to Lana her name is Biljana Sesevic and she's a former TV presenter
who is now a boat dealer (huh?).

Ladies' Friday OOPs

Charleston:

Stadium (from 11.00hrs)
1. Peschke/Raymond vs. Chan/Govortsova
2. Dementieva vs. Cibulkova (NB 13.00hrs)
3. Razzano vs. Wozniacki
4. Vesnina vs. Lisicki
5. Bartoli vs. Czink (NB 19.00hrs)
6. Glatch/Perry vs. Peng/Yan

Barcelona:

Pista Central (from 12.00hrs)
1. Yakimova vs. Vinci
2. Martínez Sánchez vs. Kirilenko
3. Malek vs. Suárez Navarro
4. Llagostera Vives/Martínez Sánchez vs. Schiavone/Vinci

Pista 5 (from 13.00hrs)
1. Safarova vs. Schiavone
2. Hlavackova/Hradecka vs. Cirstea/Klepac

Double Duty

The iron men who won early this morning.  Rafa made quick work of Lapentti, Muzz gutted out a tough win over Fognini, Kolya beat Nalby in three, and Lubey took out Goth Bols in straights.  They'll all take a nap and come back to play their quarterfinal matches in a few hours (Rafa vs. Lubey, Muzz vs. Kolya).  How fun for them.

[1] R Nadal (ESP) d [Q] N Lapentti (ECU) 63 60
[4] A Murray (GBR) d [Q] F Fognini (ITA) 76(11) 64
[8] N Davydenko (RUS) d [12] D Nalbandian (ARG) 64 57 63
[WC] I Ljubicic (CRO) d S Bolelli (ITA) 75 76(2)

Pic This: Shhh...Xisca's There

As was confirmed by many who watched Rafa's matches this week, Xisca is front and center watching her man play alongside his family.  She's even color coordinating with him.


So much for all those rumors.


Has Mirka ever worn an RF hat?  I honestly don't know.  But just...no.

You can see more pics at Great Tennis Photos.

Bepa Rolls, In A Bad Way

So *that's* awesome.

The Bepster was forced to retire at 1-1 (deuce) after badly rolling her right ankle against Razzano.  She already came into Charleston with a groin injury so bad that the doctors advised her to take time off.  But she played Charleston anyway because of "contractual reasons."  Now, in addition to the groin injury she has ankle sprain that required her to be carted off the court. 

Well ain't that just kick you in the crotch spit on your neck fantastic.

Here's some fan video of Bepa getting carted off.  Nice of The Gypsy to give her a kiss.  Hopefully she didn't summon her voodoo powers to cause the incident in the first place.

Monte Carlo: Friday OOP

FUN.

COURT CENTRAL start 10:30 am
[1] R Nadal (ESP) vs [Q] N Lapentti (ECU) 01 - To Finish 0-1
Not Before 12:00 PM
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) vs [3] N Djokovic (SRB)
[Q] A Beck (GER) vs [13] S Wawrinka (SUI)
[1] R Nadal (ESP) or [Q] N Lapentti (ECU) vs S Bolelli (ITA) or [WC] I Ljubicic (CRO)
[4] A Murray (GBR) or [Q] F Fognini (ITA) vs [12] D Nalbandian (ARG) or [8] N Davydenko (RUS)

COURT DES PRINCES start 10:30 am
[4] A Murray (GBR) vs [Q] F Fognini (ITA) 76(11) 10 - To Finish 7-6 1-0
M Cilic (CRO) / N Kiefer (GER) vs [2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB)
[1] B Bryan (USA) / M Bryan (USA) vs [6] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL)
N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) vs F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) or [4] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) - After Suitable Rest

COURT 2 start 10:30 am
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) vs [8] N Davydenko (RUS)
[3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) vs [7] J Knowle (AUT) / A Ram (ISR)
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) vs [4] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH) - After Suitable Rest

COURT 9 start 10:30 am
S Bolelli (ITA) vs [WC] I Ljubicic (CRO)

Pic This: I'm Just Shocked It's Not Covered In Plastic

I totally forgot about the Charleston couch. 
I don't know if I'm more disturbed that it's a couch or that it's made of wicker.

Yeah, probably the wicker thing. 

UPDATED: I Don't Know Why But My Vote Goes To Yelena Isinbayeva. Mainly Because She's Badass.

The 2009 Laureus Nominations were announced and Rafa, Venus, Ana, and Nole are all up for one.  Rafa is up for Sportsman of the Year, Venus is up for Sportswoman of the Year, and Ana and Nole are both nominated for World Breakthrough of the Year.

But more importantly, I want to party with the Laureus World Sports Academy.  Check out the 46 members:

Giacomo Agostini, Marcus Allen, Severiano Ballesteros, Franz Beckenbauer, Boris Becker, Ian Botham, Sergey Bubka, Bobby Charlton, Sebastian Coe, Nadia Comaneci, Yaping Deng, Marcel Desailly, Kapil Dev, David Douillet, Emerson Fittipaldi, Sean Fitzpatrick, Dawn Fraser, Cathy Freeman, Tanni Grey-Thompson, Marvelous Marvin Hagler, Mika Häkkinen, Tony Hawk, Mike Horn, Miguel Indurain, Michael Johnson, Kip Keino, Franz Klammer, Dan Marino, John McEnroe, Edwin Moses (Chairman), Nawal El Moutawakel, Robby Naish, Ilie Nastase, Martina Navratilova, Alexei Nemov, Jack Nicklaus, Gary Player, Morné du Plessis, Hugo Porta, Vivian Richards, Monica Seles, Mark Spitz, Daley Thompson, Alberto Tomba, Steve Waugh and Katarina Witt.

Any list that has Cathy Freeman is a list I want to be on.  Can you imagine how awesome a kegger in the Swiss Alps would be with this crew?  Keg stands with Tomba?  Fuck yeah.

UPDATED: To include Rafa.  Duh.

Even His Sponsors Are Making Fun Of Him?

This made me cringe, hide under desk, and vow never to watch it again. Oh, Roger.

The Good German

Just because it's green doesn't mean Venus can play on it, people.

Congrats to Sabine for her straight set win over Venus.  I really didn't think she would be able to hold her nerve in the tiebreak but she served for the match at 6-5 and converted.  Good for the her.

Play continues in Charleston with Nads up a set on Czink and Vezzie in a fight with Kutuzova on serve in the first.  Here are the the scores so far from Charleston:

(1/WC) Elena Dementieva (RUS) d. Varvara Lepchenko (USA) 61 61
(16) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. (2) Venus Williams (USA) 64 76(5)
(5) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. (10) Peng Shuai (CHN) 63 64
(6) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. (Q) Melanie Oudin (USA) 64 61
(7) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. Anastasia Rodionova (RUS) 67(6) 62 63

Maybe God's A Fed Fan

[Insert Mordor Joke Here]

Other than the Stanley/Fed match only three matches were played to their conclusion today in rain soaked Monte Carlo.  Nole and Montanes played through the rain (though I think they were on a covered court) with Nole dishing out a bagel on his way to a win.  Fer told Steve Tignor to suck it and thoroughly trashed Daveed, 2 and 1.  It's official, Daveed.  I refuse to every buy your stock ever again.  I mean, I was rooting for Fer but come on, dude, you can't give us hope like that and then crash out 2 and 1.  Go have a burger and some cigs and think about what you've done.

Meanwhile, Andreas Beck is quietly having one heck of a tourney.  He beat Pico in three.

[3] N Djokovic (SRB) d A Montanes (ESP) 61 67(4) 60
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) d [10] D Ferrer (ESP) 62 61
[Q] A Beck (GER) d J Monaco (ARG) 36 62 75

Here are the matches that have to be played/finished tomorrow:

[1] R Nadal (ESP) vs [Q] N Lapentti (ECU) - to finish 01
[4] A Murray (GBR) vs [Q] F Fognini (ITA) - to finish 76(11) 10
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) vs [8] N Davydenko (RUS)
S Bolelli (ITA) vs [WC] I Ljubicic (CRO)

This really sucks for Rafa and, potentially, Muzz.  They're going to have to play two matches in one day. 

Do We Have A New Mirka On Our Hands?

Nole and Jelena go to a footie match. Jelena would rather be anywhere other than there.

Masha Loses Pepsi, Gets Dandruff

Masha and Pepsi have gone their separate ways, mutually deciding not to renew their two year deal.  I'm sure Max Eisenbud wasn't all that pleased about Pepsi signing Serena last year.  So no more Gatorade for Masha.

But not all is lost.  Maria announced this week that she's signed with Unilever, maker of Dove and Surf detergent, and will schill their Clear anti-dandruff shampoo.

So...totally the same.

Wet 'n Wild

Rain poured down today in Monte Carlo but apparently it couldn't delay the inevitable.  For me, a non-Fed fan, there are certain things I can count on.  One of those things used to be that I didn't have to pay attention to one half of the bracket because I could count on Fed, much to my chagrin, of blitzing his way into the finals.  With his recent, uh, troubles, I downgraded that to ok, you don't have to pay attention until the semis.  But here we are, heading into the quarterfinals of Monte Carlo and Fed is gone.

Maybe it's my weird perspective as a non-Fed Fan that I just don't see what all the hoopla is over the loss.  Fed's worst surface, four days after he got married, against a guy who has only been improving the last month and considers clay his best surface.  Chalk it up to a surprising, but not shocking result.  Said the always adorable Stanley, "I am a bit embarrassed to celebrate it."

 

Anyway, enjoy the honeymoon in Monte Carlo, Vavrinecs.  I hear there's some wonderful shopping.

Monica Seles Does Not Like Russians

Q&A with The Basher herself, in advance of the release of her new book,
which comes out next week.

Monte Carlo: Thursday OOP

The Idiot vs. Lord Farquaad The Destroyer should be a barn burner.  Sigh.  Gonna have to stay up for that one.  Stan vs. Roger, well, you just never know these days. 

COURT CENTRAL start 10:30 am
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) vs [10] D Ferrer (ESP)
[13] S Wawrinka (SUI) vs [2] [WC] R Federer (SUI)
[1] R Nadal (ESP) vs [Q] N Lapentti (ECU)
[4] A Murray (GBR) vs [Q] F Fognini (ITA)
M Cilic (CRO) / N Kiefer (GER) vs [2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB)

COURT DES PRINCES start 10:30 am
[Q] A Beck (GER) vs J Monaco (ARG)
A Montanes (ESP) vs [3] N Djokovic (SRB)
S Bolelli (ITA) vs [WC] I Ljubicic (CRO)
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) vs [8] N Davydenko (RUS)

COURT 2 start 1:30 pm
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) vs [4] M Bhupathi (IND) / M Knowles (BAH)

Ladies' Thursday OOPs

Charleston:

Stadium (11.00hrs)
1. Bartoli vs. Oudin
2. Lisicki vs. Williams
3. Dementieva vs. Lepchenko
4. Czink vs. Petrova
5. Zvonareva vs. Razzano

Althea Gibson (11:30hrs)
1. Rodionova vs. Cibulkova
2. Peng vs. Wozniacki
3. Vesnina vs. Kutuzova

Barcelona:

Pista Central (from 12.00hrs)
1. Errani vs. Safarova
2. Loit vs. Suárez Navarro
3. Schiavone vs. Vaidisova

Pista 5 (from 12.00hrs)
1. Cohen-Aloro vs. Malek

Vezzie Rebounds, Oudin Bagels, and Flavs Has Lost Her Flavor

 

If there was a pic of Flavia I would put it up but as it is it might be more appropriate anyways.  What's up with my favorite Italian Bird Thrower?  Such a strong end of 2008 and then she's barely left the ground in 2009.  Here's a list of her results so far:

• Hobart -- l to Rybarikova
• AO -- l to AMG
• Fed Cup -- win over Cornet and Momes
• Bogota -- l to Zec Peskiric
• Acapulco -- makes the final and loses to Venus 1 and 2 (on clay!)
• Monterey -- l to Zhalavova Strychova
• IW -- l to Ana
• Miami -- l to Momes
• Barcelona -- l to Vinci

Rybarikova?  AMG on hard court? Zec Peskiric? Strychova?  Vinci?  Really? 

Luckily Flavs' loss was the only horrific news of the day, though if you're Aranxta Sanchez Vicario you're a little pissed that your tournament has lost its top two seeds in the first round.  Makiri, the defending champion at Barcelona, is quietly making her way through the draw, which is good to see.

Back on home soil Sania tempted us with an upset, only to have the door slammed in her face by Venus, who won in three.  In the two big upsets of the day, Vezie took out Peppermint Patty in three, and Fed Cup hero Melanie Oudin dished out a bagel to a tired CanWoz.

Charleston:

(2) Venus Williams (USA) d. Sania Mirza (IND) 61 36 62
(5) Caroline Wozniacki (DEN) d. Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) 63 63
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. (8) Patty Schnyder (SUI) 62 67(5) 75
(Q) Melanie Oudin (USA) d. (9) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) 75 60
(10) Peng Shuai (CHN) d. Akgul Amanmuradova (UZB) 75 26 75
Viktoriya Kutuzova (UKR) d. (11) Alona Bondarenko (UKR) 64 75
Anastasia Rodionova (RUS) d. (12) Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA) 62 64
(13) Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. Stephanie Dubois (CAN) 63 76(3)
(16) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. (Q) Lenka Wienerova (SVK) 64 63
Melinda Czink (HUN) d. Vania King (USA) 64 62
Varvara Lepchenko (USA) d. (Q) Shenay Perry (USA) 62 63

Barcelona:

Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. (2/WC) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) 61 62
(6) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Severine Bremond (FRA) 75 62
Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d. (LL) Masa Zec Peskiric (SLO) 75 57 62
(Q) Anastasiya Yakimova (BLR) d. Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) 36 63 60

Uh...Which Version of Dirty Dancing Did You See, Fed?

The ATP boys wax poetic about their favorite movies.  Clearly the ATP uses Gladiator to teach the foreign guys how to speak English because I'm sorry, I love Gladiator, but come on.

Loved Nole's and Igor's choices.  Kept waiting for Jamie or Andy to say Love Actually.  And at this point I'm pretty convinced that I want to be friends with Lubey.  That dude has some depth. 

Oh, and Fernando, you're pretty, but GOD do you come across like an idiot.

UPDATED: Homecoming Queen

Jay-Z signed a deal with Anta this week and then returned home to her home province of earthquake torn Sichuan.  This is the first time she's been back since the area was decimated by a disastrous earthquake in May.

HCFoo has all the details. 

UPDATED: Here's the WTA story.  I totally forgot that she donated her Wimbly prize money to the rescue efforts.  The woman is all class. 

Also?  69,000 people. Hurricane Katrina took 2,000 lives (and for the record, the worst natural disaster in America "only" claimed 8,000).  69,000 is absolutely mindblowing.

More Masha Than I Can Handle

New Nike ads with Masha. 


Sorry Nike, I don't need 3 Mashas or even five.  I need one Masha on the court with a healthy shoulder.  So if you could work that I'd appreciate it.  Kthxbye!

More pics and behind the scenes action here.

"If I was John and you were Yoko, I would gladly give up musical genius just to have you as my very own personal Venus."

This woman needs to be immortalized in some way.  She's just too much awesome to take.


This pic needs to be on Swiss money.  Immediately.

Don't Even Bother, Chinese Government. She Owns.

Nails speaks out against the Chinese system:

Li, China's second highest ranked player at 31 in the world with career earnings of over $1.6 million, said she would never have even pursued tennis if sports chiefs had not forced her to.

"If I had an opportunity to choose what I wanted to do in childhood, I wouldn't have gone for tennis," Li told the China Daily newspaper.

"It is a sport that I was always pushed to do, first by my parents, then provincial and national sports administrators."

China's leading female tennis players broke ground last year by escaping from the administrators that had previously governed their careers, and Li called for athletes in other sports to enjoy similar freedoms.

"I love what it is right now. In the past, national or the provincial sports administrators arranged everything for you and you had no options but to follow their arrangements," said Li, aged 27.

"It is very important for us to have the right to choose. I really mean it."

China's top-ranked female tennis players only won the right to manage their own careers and keep a greater share of their prize money after repeated protests.

Peng Shuai, ranked 35, had threatened to quit the national team unless their demands were met.

Since abandoning the state-supported system, Li has returned from a knee injury and climbed back into the world's top 50 while compatriot Zheng Jie has achieved a career-high ranking of 16.

Nails rules.  There's never been any question about that.  To have the balls to speak out against the system and against your communist government, especially as a woman, is courageous stuff.  You have to wonder what she's got on the government that prevents them from coming after her. 

Guess #1: The real birth certificates of the ridiculously underaged Chinese gymanasts.

Guess #2: Proof that Yao Ming is a robot.

Guess #3: The Chinese handbook entitled "Shit we have to cover up before the westerners get here for the Olympics but don't worry we'll revert back to it as soon as they leave."

Pic This: Heh. Gutter.

Don't Toy With Me, Serbia. Get It Done.

Fed Cup World Group nominations are out.

You have to love the Tarpi's ability to pick whoever he wants for Fed Cup and still field a good team.  No Dina or Lena this time, and, surprisingly, no Vezzie (though I'm sure she'll be there anyway).  The addition of Chakky is a bit of a surprise.  Spain didn't nominate CSN, which, is a huge shocker.  And yeah, good luck, Team USA.

WORLD GROUP SEMIFINALS

ITALY v RUSSIA
Venue: Nova Yardinia, Castellaneta Marina, ITA (clay – outdoors)

Italy
Flavia Pennetta
Francesca Schiavone
Sara Errani
Roberta Vinci
Captain: Corrado Barazzutti

Russia
Vera Zvonareva
Svetlana Kuznetsova
Nadia Petrova
Anna Chakvetadze
Captain: Shamil Tarpischev

CZECH REPUBLIC v USA
Venue: Starobrno Rondo Arena, Brno, CZE (Carpet – indoors)

Czech Republic
Iveta Benesova
Petra Kvitova
Lucie Safarova
Kveta Peschke
Captain: Petr Pala

USA
Bethanie Mattek-Sands
Liezel Huber
Melanie Oudin
Alexa Glatch
Captain: Mary-Joe Fernandez

WORLD GROUP PLAY-OFFS

SPAIN v SERBIA
Venue: Club de Tennis Lleida, Lleida, ESP (clay - outoors)

Spain
Anabel Medina Garrigues
Maria-Jose Martinez Sanchez
Lourdes Dominguez-Lino
Nuria Llagostera Vives
Captain: Miguel Margets

Serbia
Jelena Jankovic
Ana Ivanovic
Ana Jovanovic
Alexandra Krunic
Captain: Dejan Vranes

FRANCE v SLOVAK REPUBLIC
Venue: Palais des Sports Beaublanc, Limoges, FRA (clay – indoors)

France
Alize Cornet
Amelie Mauresmo
Nathalie Dechy
Mathilde Johansson
Captain: Nicolas Escude

Slovak Republic
Dominika Cibulkova
Daniela Hantuchova
Magdalena Rybarikova
Lenka Wienerova
Captain: Matej Liptak

GERMANY v CHINA, P.R.
Venue: Frankfurter TC 1914 Palmengarten, Frankfurt, GER (clay - outdoors)

Germany
Sabine Lisicki
Anna-Lena Groenefeld
Kristina Barrois
Tatjana Malek
Captain: Barbara Rittner

China, P.R.
Jie Zheng
Na Li
Jing-Jing Lu
Tian-Tian Sun
Captain: Qi Zhang

ARGENTINA v UKRAINE
Venue: Club Nautico Mar del Plata, Mar del Plata, ARG (clay – outdoors)

Argentina
Betina Jozami
Jorgelina Cravero
Aranza Salut
Paula Ormaechea
Captain: Ricardo Rivera

Ukraine
Alona Bondarenko
Kateryna Bondarenko
Mariya Koryttseva
Olga Savchuk
Captain: Volodymyr Bogdanov

WORLD GROUP II PLAY-OFFS

BELGIUM v CANADA
Venue: Grenslandhallen - Ethias Arena, Hasselt, BEL (clay – indoors)

Belgium
Yanina Wickmayer
Kirsten Flipkens
Tamaryn Hendler
An-Sophie Mestach
Captain: Sabine Appelmans

Canada
Aleksandra Wozniak
Stephanie Dubois
Sharon Fichman
Valerie Tetreault
Captain: Rene Collins

ESTONIA v ISRAEL
Venue: Tondi Tennis Club, Tallinn, EST (hard – indoors)

Estonia
Kaia Kanepi
Maret Ani
Margit Ruutel
Anett Schutting
Captain: Rene Busch

Israel
Shahar Peer
Tzipora Obziler
Julia Glushko
Keren Shlomo
Captain: Lior Mor

POLAND v JAPAN
Venue: Tenisowy Klub Sportowy Arka, Gdynia, POL (clay - outdoors)

Poland
Agnieszka Radwanska
Urzsula Radwanska
Alicja Rosolska
Klaudia Jans
Captain: Tomasz Wiktorowski

Japan
Ai Sugiyama
Ayumi Morita
Rika Fujiwara
Akiko Morigami
Captain: Takeshi Murakami

AUSTRALIA v SWITZERLAND
Venue: Mildura Lawn Tennis Club, Mildura, AUS (grass - outdoors)

Australia
Samantha Stosur
Jelena Dokic
Jessica Moore
Rennae Stubbs
Captain: David Taylor

Switzerland
Stefanie Voegele
Nicole Riner
Mateja Kraljevic
Amra Sadikovic
Captain: Christiane Jolissaint

Rafa, Roger, Roll, Tall Dudes Do Not

Nothing much to write about with the big boys today.  Rafa rolled over Chela, 62 63 and
Roger beat Seppi 64 64.


But a tough day for the tall and lanky.  Lubey took out the Elf in three, 46 61 64, Cilic only got two games off Fognini before getting bageled, 62 60, and Dr. Ivo lost to Kolya 64 63. 

But in happy news, Kolya's back!


And could Tignor be on to something?  He picked Daveed to make the finals.  That seemed like a crazy notion at first but the dude has been destroying the competition these past two days.  Today he dropped only 1 game in his win over Gicquel, and yesterday he beat FeLo 2 and 3.


And then of course we have the Marat,  Who blew a 5-2 lead in the third to lose 76(6) in the tiebreaker to Nicholas Lapentti.  Racquets were broken, point penalties were given, balls went flying, and a woman had an epilleptic seizure.  It was a typical Safin match.

Here are the scores out of Monte Carlo:

Singles - Second Round
[1] R Nadal (ESP) d J Chela (ARG) 62 63
[2] [WC] R Federer (SUI) d A Seppi (ITA) 64 64
[WC] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [5] J Del Potro (ARG) 46 61 64
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) d P Kohlschreiber (GER) 63 64
[8] N Davydenko (RUS) d I Karlovic (CRO) 64 63
[10] D Ferrer (ESP) d M Gicquel (FRA) 61 60
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) d M Granollers (ESP) 46 63 61
[13] S Wawrinka (SUI) d M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) 26 75 62
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) d [14] M Cilic (CRO) 62 60
A Montanes (ESP) d [WC] J Lisnard (MON) 62 64
S Bolelli (ITA) d J Tipsarevic (SRB) 75 63
[Q] N Lapentti (ECU) d M Safin (RUS) 76(6) 26 76(6) - saved 3 M.P.

Doubles - Second Round
[2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB) d [WC] M Gicquel (FRA) / P Mathieu (FRA) 63 67(5) 10-4
[3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) d A Montanes (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) 26 76(5) 10-8
[6] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) d N Davydenko (RUS) / O Marach (AUT) 63 64
[7] J Knowle (AUT) / A Ram (ISR) d S Aspelin (SWE) / W Moodie (RSA) 76(3) 62
N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) d [8] J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) 64 64

Is There A Tissue Box Inside?

Mirka's in Monte Carlo, showing off her bling.



Like whoa, kids.  Like whoa.

I can't wait to see the bedazzled Blackberry.

Ladies' Wednesday OOPs

Charleston:

Stadium (from 10.00hrs)
1. Oudin vs. Wozniak
2. Mirza vs. V.Williams (NB 12.00hrs)
3. Schnyder vs. Vesnina
4. Peschke/Raymond vs. Craybas/Washington
5. Kudryavtseva vs. Wozniacki (NB 19.00hrs)
6. Jozami/Pelletier vs. Chuang/Vesnina

Althea Gibson (from 10.00hrs)
1. Kutuzova vs. A.Bondarenko
2. Mattek-Sands vs. Rodionova
3. King vs. Czink
4. Peng vs. Amanmuradova
5. Mattek-Sands/Petrova vs. Ditty/Gullickson

Court 3 (from 10.00hrs)
1. Lisicki vs. Wienerova
2. Lepchenko vs. Perry
3. Dubois vs. Razzano
4. Glatch/Perry vs. A.Bondarenko/Rodionova

Barcelona:

Pista Central (from 11.00hrs)
1. Brémond vs. Kirilenko
2. Vinci vs. Pennetta
3. Brémond/Kapshay vs. Cornet/Pin
4. Zec Peskiric vs. Martínez Sánchez (NB 17.30hrs)

Pista 5 (from 12.00hrs)
1. Yakimova vs. Rybarikova
2. Beygelzimer/Jugic-Salkic vs. Hlavackova/Hradecka
3. Errani/Suárez Navarro vs. Dzehalevich/Yakimova
4. Kondratieva/Lefèvre vs. Schiavone/Vinci
5. Ani/Voracova vs. Cirstea/Klepac

Monte Carlo: Wednesday OOP

COURT CENTRAL start 10:30 am
[7] F Verdasco (ESP) vs P Kohlschreiber (GER)
A Seppi (ITA) vs [2] [WC] R Federer (SUI)
[1] R Nadal (ESP) vs J Chela (ARG)
[WC] I Ljubicic (CRO) vs [5] J Del Potro (ARG)
[WC] M Gicquel (FRA) / P Mathieu (FRA) vs [2] D Nestor (CAN) / N Zimonjic (SRB)

COURT DES PRINCES start 10:30 am
J Tipsarevic (SRB) vs S Bolelli (ITA)
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) vs M Granollers (ESP)
M Gicquel (FRA) vs [10] D Ferrer (ESP)
M Safin (RUS) vs [Q] N Lapentti (ECU)
S Aspelin (SWE) / W Moodie (RSA) vs [7] J Knowle (AUT) / A Ram (ISR)

COURT 2 start 10:30 am
A Montanes (ESP) vs [WC] J Lisnard (MON)
I Karlovic (CRO) vs [8] N Davydenko (RUS)
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) vs [14] M Cilic (CRO)
[3] L Dlouhy (CZE) / L Paes (IND) vs A Montanes (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP)

COURT 9 start 11:00 am
[13] S Wawrinka (SUI) vs M Vassallo Arguello (ARG)
[8] J Coetzee (RSA) / J Kerr (AUS) vs N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB)
N Davydenko (RUS) / O Marach (AUT) vs [6] M Fyrstenberg (POL) / M Matkowski (POL) - After Suitable Rest

The Falcon And The Snowman

Decisive wins for Nole and Muzz, Gilly, Disco, and Gael get dumped, and a classy win for Marat over Lleyton.  Oh, and FeLo can't win a match to save his life at this point.

Singles - Second Round
[3] N Djokovic (SRB) d [Q] O Hernandez (ESP) 61 62
[4] A Murray (GBR) d V Hanescu (ROU) 63 62
[Q] A Beck (GER) d [6] G Simon (FRA) 75 61
J Monaco (ARG) d [11] T Robredo (ESP) 62 64

Singles - First Round
J Tipsarevic (SRB) d [9] G Monfils (FRA) 63 61
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) d P Mathieu (FRA) 64 36 63
A Montanes (ESP) d [16] N Almagro (ESP) 76(6) 46 76(5)
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) d T Berdych (CZE) 16 63 63
[WC] J Lisnard (MON) d C Rochus (BEL) 62 62
M Vassallo Arguello (ARG) d I Andreev (RUS) 26 76(5) 62
[10] D Ferrer (ESP) d F Lopez (ESP) 62 63
I Karlovic (CRO) d F Serra (FRA) 64 64
M Safin (RUS) d [WC] L Hewitt (AUS) 64 75

Doubles - Second Round
[5] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) vs M Cilic (CRO) / N Kiefer (GER)

Doubles - First Round
N Davydenko (RUS) / O Marach (AUT) d J Chardy (FRA) / G Simon (FRA) 64 61
S Aspelin (SWE) / W Moodie (RSA) d R Lindstedt (SWE) / R Soderling (SWE) 62 64
[WC] M Gicquel (FRA) / P Mathieu (FRA) vs L Arnold Ker (ARG) / P Cuevas (URU)

Now MaKiri's Baking Bagels? WTF, Clay?

Lena just took the court for her second round match in Charleston, but here are the wacky scores from today.

Charleston:

Singles - Second Round
(3) Vera Zvonareva (RUS) d. Rossana de los Rios (PAR) 63 62
(4) Nadia Petrova (RUS) d. Patricia Mayr (AUT) 61 26 62
(6) Marion Bartoli (FRA) d. (Q) Anastasija Sevastova (LAT) 61 63
(7) Dominika Cibulkova (SVK) d. Tamira Paszek (AUT) 64 60

Singles - First Round
(9) Aleksandra Wozniak (CAN) d. (Q) Abigail Spears (USA) 63 46 60
(12) Bethanie Mattek-Sands (USA) d. Mariana Duque Marino (COL) 76(3) 75
(Q) Shenay Perry (USA) d. (15) Barbora Zahlavova Strycova (CZE) 75 61
(16) Sabine Lisicki (GER) d. (Q) Marie-Eve Pelletier (CAN) 75 64
Elena Vesnina (RUS) d. Evgeniya Rodina (RUS) 60 62
Alla Kudryavtseva (RUS) d. (Q) Angela Haynes (USA) 64 57 60
Akgul Amanmuradova (UZB) d. (WC) Alexandra Stevenson (USA) 62 64
Sania Mirza (IND) d. Sesil Karatantcheva (KAZ) 64 64
Viktoriya Kutuzova (UKR) d. Mariya Koryttseva (UKR) 61 61
Stephanie Dubois (CAN) d. Katie O'Brien (GBR) 46 62 61

Barcelona:

Singles - First Round
(LL) Masa Zec Peskiric (SLO) d. (4) Kaia Kanepi (EST) 36 62 64
(5) Carla Suarez Navarro (ESP) d. (WC) Estrella Cabeza Candela (ESP) 62 60
(6) Maria Kirilenko (RUS) d. Camille Pin (FRA) 62 60
(Q) Anastasiya Yakimova (BLR) d. (8) Sorana Cirstea (ROU) 76(2) 76(5)
Francesca Schiavone (ITA) d. Lourdes Dominguez Lino (ESP) 76(4) 64
Maria Jose Martinez Sanchez (ESP) d. Kirsten Flipkens (BEL) 62 62
Nicole Vaidisova (CZE) d. (Q) Yevgenia Savranska (UKR) 62 64
Severine Bremond (FRA) d. Anna-Lena Groenefeld (GER) 76(4) 62
(Q) Tatjana Malek (GER) d. (WC) Nuria Llagostera Vives (ESP) 63 36 61 (LL) Emilie Loit (FRA) d. (Q) Mervana Jugic-Salkic (BIH) 76(3) 36 62

Air Quotes: Commodus Channels His Inner Russian

Q. Was this match, like you said yesterday, you had no reference points to be able to play on clay?
GILLES SIMON: Yes. I didn't have reference points. And on top of this, this match was completely rotten from the first to the last point. So it's not only the lack of reference points.

Q. What is it then?
GILLES SIMON: I don't know. I'm surprised myself. I felt at ease on this surface. I was moving well. But I don't remember ever playing so badly. Nothing was right. Nothing was working. My forehand, my backhand, my serve, nothing.

Q. Do you believe playing a qualifier first round coming back from the United States was a tricky match?
GILLES SIMON: No. On the contrary, I believe this was a good draw. It is always better to play a qualifier, although he won matches just before and he has his bearings.

Q. But you didn't know this one?
GILLES SIMON: Yes, I did. I played him a long time ago. I also saw several matches from him so I knew what he can do well. But I played so bad today that I couldn't have beaten anyone. In the beginning he made a couple of mistakes, but then he understood very soon that I would play a very short point or I would hit the ball out.

Q. When was the last time you played as badly as this?
GILLES SIMON: I believe this match is a record.

Q. Are you worried?
GILLES SIMON: I'm certainly not pleased with that match. But I'm not even worried. If I had lost playing sometimes good, sometimes bad, I would have thought it's strange.
But in this case, I didn't even have good moments. It went so bad that I think the result is normal.

Q. What bothered you in his game? He's a left hander? He was hitting the lines too often?
GILLES SIMON: Nothing special. I was concentrating on what I had to do, and he was putting some rhythm into the ball, which is good. He was serving well, but I was able to return. But I felt lost on the court. The third backhand I was hitting went into the net. The third forehand I was hitting, I was hitting the frame. I think I made 40 unforced errors and just 1 winner. What could I do?

Q. Four winners.
GILLES SIMON: But two aces (smiling).

Q. What is your schedule now?
GILLES SIMON: I need to take two or three days for treatment, then there is no secret: I need 10 days of intensive practice on clay in order to be able to slide better and to work on my fitness, because when the rally is very long, I lose my breath, so I need to get used to that type of effort again.

The dude gives good interview.  Makes me wonder about his other oral skills.

Ew!  I'm talking about debating!  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Sheesh.

He seems like he'd be a master debater.

Clay Achin'

 
Pete Bodo's write up on the WTA storylines going into the clay season. 

Apart from his need to remind everyone what a joke the WTA is compared to the ATP, it's hard to argue with his take on the players' prospects:

Madrid may be just the inducement Serena Williams needs to boost her interest clay, thereby protecting her chances to remain no. 1 and perhaps even open a little distance between herself  and an odd crew that features not one but two women who have yet to win a Grand Slam events - Dinara Safina and Jelena Jankovic.But can Serena still be a force on clay? That's an interesting question that was raised in Melbourne and Miami, where she often looked both more powerful - and less mobile - than in the past.

It's hard to see Serena gettting "better" on clay, but remember that she's won Roland Garros, and took the Charleston title last year before shipping out to Europe - where she lost a very tight quarterfinal to Safina in Berlin, withdrew from Rome with an injury, and lost in the third round in Paris to Katarina Srebotnik. Discount her at your peril.

No. 2 Safina began her personal makeover last year at Berlin, where she beat three of the women who have remained major hurdles to her Grand Slam ambitions - Serena, Elena Dementieva and Victoria Azarenka. Safina will have many ranking points to defend starting in Berlin, and there's no telling how she'll react to the pressure. Last year, she frequently spoke about the way she's re-invented herself, but the failure to break through in a big way - with a major title - suggests that the makeover wasn't quite finished. Will it ever be?

 

Elena Dementieva is coming off a good year, and capable of doing a lot of damage on clay. She was a Roland Garros finalist in 2004, and could easily make a similar run there again. But she may be the most unpredictable player on either tour. It's funny, though, I never really get the feeling that Dementieva is  choker (except, of course, when it comes to that serve - but that's a slightly different issue), or that she's an imposter at the top of the game. She doesn't really collapse. If anything, she seems to have a way of bringing out the best in her opponents - a talent I'm sure she'd rather not possess. I've always felt that she's sufficiently athletic and powerful to win a major. Maybe this will be her year.

Vera Zvonareva is in good shape to make a move, fueled by her recent victory at Indian Wells. She started like a house on fire on clay last year; she lost to Serena in the Charleston final and snatched the Prague title from Victoria Azarenka before she lost momentum. Zvonareva lost to Venus at Rome and Dementieva in Paris, but who's going to describe either of those as a bad loss?

Jankovic may be no. 4 now, but she won last week in Marbella and she's aware of how much ground she's lost in the last few, unhappy months. That's okay; if she's any kind of champion she's going to take to the clay with the attitude that she's purged the hee-bee jee-bees from her system - and remind herself that she's got fresh legs and still a solid foundation in fitness. For the women as much as the men, the clay offers a nice opportunity for getting back to the fundamentals, as in:  My Game 101. There's no reason on earth for Jankovic to feel pressure now - she's already blown the outstanding opportunity to demonstrate that she was a deserving year-end no.1 in 2008 with that awful patch of play in Melbourne to start 2009.  With nothing to lose, she could pick up some much-needed momentum for Paris in the coming weeks.

Ivanovic has fallen to no. 7 from a career-high last summer of no.1, and even her Serbian countrywoman and fellow former no. 1 hasn't slipped that dramatically. In this slump, we've seen the extent to which confidence matters; with it, in 2008, she was able to make the most of her fundamentally conservative, precise game. Without in, since the summer of last year, she's often looked like a throwback to a time when the top women players were less athletic and versatile.

My own feeling is that Ivanovic must find a way to, well, loosen up - in every sense of the word. She needs to re-discover the hard--hitting, free-swinging Ivanovic of a few years ago. It just seems to me that somewhere along the line Ivanovic came to believe that she needs to be Miss Perfect (at any number of levels), and maybe that stifled her game.

L-L-Lick Like A Lollipop

Congrats on beating Lleyton, Maratski. 


I just want to lick the sweat right off him.  And since he won and in a marginally better mood than if he had lost, I think he might let me.


So Marat's just gotta beat Lapentti, who took out Radek yesterday, and he'll book a date with Rafa in the third round.
 

Listen, Marat.  I know you're a dude and I should be satisfied enough that you occasionally shower.  But sometimes I worry that you're not using any sunscreen. 

The dude is the color of clay in that shot.  Awesome, hot, lickable clay, but clay nonetheless.

Never Forget.

SI would like to remind you that Roger Federer cries all the time and that the highlight of his year so far is getting hitched.  Seriously, this was kind of fucked up:

Roger Federer has married his longtime girlfriend Mirka Vavrinec in his Swiss hometown and shed tears of happiness.

Federer, who has lost his top ranking to Nadal as well as his Wimbledon crown and this year's Australian Open final, married Vavrinec in a small ceremony in Basel on Saturday that he had managed to keep secret.

Federer said on Tuesday, speaking about the wedding for the first time, "A few tears here and there. It was nice."

Federer broke down in tears when he gave his post-match speech after losing 7-5, 3-6, 7-6 (3), 3-6, 6-2 in Melbourne for a fifth straight defeat to the Spaniard.

This time, Federer told reporters, "It was just nice to know that she loves me so much, I love her so much. It was just a very nice day. We had perfect sky, perfect weather."

I would think the being together for over eight years and starting a family together would be enough to prove your love to each other, but I guess hanging out under a perfect sky before jetting off to Monte Carlo is also good too.

I'm also giggling in my office thinking about what their vows must have/should have been like:

"My dearest Roger.  I promise to love you even when you're being an idiot and convincing yourself that you can beat Rafa from the baseline.  I'll love you when you're standing on Phillipe Chatrier in a few weeks holding another silver plate that we can't use for entertaining, after you once again get your ass handed to you by that Spanish guy who you told me was just supposed to be a dirtballer.  I'll love you even when you're 60 and still wearing your initials on everything.  I'll love you when you cry like a little bitch when our kid is born right after you fail to bring home the Wimbledon trophy.  And I'll love you even as you futilly try to turn our son into a left handed tennis phenom."

"My dearest Mirka.  Here's a new Blackberry and some Louis Vuitton luggage.  Seriously, we gotta go.  The plane is waiting."

Mirka.  You're a national hero.  Anytime you're bored and you want some to BB Messenger with, I'm around.

Giving Nole Good Head

Touche, Head. You finally did something good for the kid. This commercial rules. And yes, Nole, you should wear the tassles on court. It'll be very Nuke Laloosh.

Thanks to bigmama for finding the clip.

Pic This: That Is The Biggest Racquet I've Ever Seen

At least they left her manhands un-PSed.  Her fist is now the size of her face.

Seriously, this pic allows for way too much snark for me to enjoy on my own. 
Continue in the comments.

No, I Am Not Entertained, Actually.

I blame the werewolf look.  What, is he auditioning for a role in New Moon?

Gilly and the Frenchies had a tough day at the office.  And we're not talking Jo and Reeshie, two players whose games may not suit clay.  We're talking the dirtball dogs, Gilles and Gael.  Gilles lost to Andreas Beck 75 61 (6-1? On clay?), and Gael was absolutely trounced by Janko, 63 61 (Really Gael? [Insert disapproving look here]).

So the other seed is out of Fed's quarter.  No wonder the dude looks so damn relaxed.

Pic This: Now THAT Is A Broken Racquet

Kristof Vliegen went to town on his Technifibre against Lubey yesterday.

But really?  Kristof Vliegen?  Against Lubey?  Uh...I guess.

Ladies Tuesday OOPs

I"m being VERY generous with my highlighting.

Charleston:

Stadium (from 10.00hrs)
1. Mattek-Sands vs. Duque Marino
2. Zvonareva vs. de los Ríos
3. Bartoli vs. Sevastova
4. Mayr vs. Petrova
5. Dementieva vs. Ditty (NB 19.00hrs)
6. Chan/Govortsova vs. Haynes/Osterloh

Althea Gibson (from 10.00hrs)
1. Perry vs. Zahlavova Strycova
2. Spears vs. Wozniak
3. Amanmuradova vs. Stevenson
4. King/Kudryavtseva vs. Peng/Yan
5. Koryttseva/Voskoboeva vs. Amanmuradova/Savchuk

Court 3 (from 10.00hrs)
1. Lisicki vs. Pelletier
2. Mirza vs. Karatantcheva
3. Paszek vs. Cibulkova
4. Dekmeijere/Schnyder vs. Czink/Zahlavova Strycova

Court 4 (from 10.00hrs)
1. Koryttseva vs. Kutuzova
2. Haynes vs. Kudryavtseva (NB 12.00hrs)

Court 5 (from 10.00hrs)
1. Dubois vs. O'Brien
2. Vesnina vs. Rodina

Barcelona:

Pista Central (from 11.00hrs)
1. Ani/Voracova vs. Safarova/Uhlirova
2. Schiavone vs. Domínguez Lino
3. Pin vs. Kirilenko
4. Martínez Sánchez vs. Flipkens
5. Cabeza Candela vs. Suárez Navarro (NB 18.00hrs)

Pista 5 (from 11.00hrs)
1. Vaidisova vs. Savranska
2. Kanepi vs. Zec Peskiric
3. Malek vs. Llagostera Vives (NB 14.00hrs)
4. Jans/Rosolska vs Borwell/Grandin

Pista 7 (from 12.00hrs)
1. Groenefeld vs. Brémond
2. Cirstea vs. Yakimova
3. Jugic-Salkic vs. Loit

Breadsticks, Bagels, and Chews, Oh My!

Results out of Charleston.  Other than Vania King's win over Poo Face Govortsova, the day went pretty smoothly, which, by WTA standards, is headline news.

Singles - First Round
(10) Peng Shuai (CHN) d. (WC) Anastasia Pivovarova (RUS) 60 62
(11) Alona Bondarenko (UKR) d. Anne Kremer (GER) 64 60
(13) Virginie Razzano (FRA) d. (WC) Mallory Cecil (USA) 61 62
Vania King (USA) d. (14) Olga Govortsova (BLR) 67(3) 76(5) 63
Tamira Paszek (AUT) d. Julia Schruff (GER) 75 62
Patricia Mayr (AUT) d. Yan Zi (CHN) 62 62
Melinda Czink (HUN) d. Jill Craybas (USA) 62 64
Rossana de los Rios (PAR) d. Carly Gullickson (USA) 61 64
Varvara Lepchenko (USA) d. Galina Voskoboeva (KAZ) 61 63
Julie Ditty (USA) d. Ayumi Morita (JPN) 61 61
Anastasia Rodionova (RUS) d. (Q) Madison Brengle (USA) 62 76(4)
(Q) Lenka Wienerova (SVK) d. Alexa Glatch (USA) 64 75
(Q) Melanie Oudin (USA) d. Olga Savchuk (UKR) 64 60
(Q) Anastasija Sevastova (LAT) d. Marta Domachowska (POL) 61 16 64

Head Unveils The Racquet No One Wants

Introducing the Head YOUTEK Speed Pro, which sounds like it has way too much technology built into it.  No wonder he's having issues with the thing. 

You'd think his Head racquet would just be a spec clone of his Wilson KBlade.  But nothing is ever easy with the Falcon.  Apparently the racquet has more brains than he does.

Movin' On Up

Check this out.  Top Spin Tennis Blog calculated the amount of points the Big Four have to defend in the clay season:

Monte Carlo Masters* (12-19 April)

Points to defend: Nadal 1,000, Federer 700, Djokovic 450, Murray 150.

Rome Masters (27 April-3 May)

Points to defend: Nadal 10, Federer 250, Djokovic 1,000, Murray 70.

Madrid Masters (10-17 May)

Points to defend: Nadal 1,000, Federer 700, Djokovic 450, Murray 150.

French Open (24 May-7 June)

Points to defend: Nadal 2,000, Federer 1,400, Djokovic 900, Murray 150.

Total: Nadal 4,010, Federer 3,050, Djokovic 2,800, Murray 520.

Going into this week, here are the point tallies:

Rafa: 14470
Roger : 11020 (-3450)
Nole: 9010 (-5460)
Muzz: 8840 (-5630)

As I've said a number of times, there's no reason Muzz can't play well on clay.  Based on that, I say Muzz comes out of the clay season if not at #2, at least within easy striking distance to leave Wimbly as the #2 player in the world.  How nutty would that be?

Monte Carlo: Tuesday OOP

COURT CENTRAL start 10:30 am
[9] G Monfils (FRA) vs J Tipsarevic (SRB)
[6] G Simon (FRA) vs [Q] A Beck (GER)
[4] A Murray (GBR) vs V Hanescu (ROU)
[Q] O Hernandez (ESP) vs [3] N Djokovic (SRB)
J Chardy (FRA) / G Simon (FRA) vs N Davydenko (RUS) / O Marach (AUT)

COURT DES PRINCES start 10:30 am
[Q] F Fognini (ITA) vs T Berdych (CZE)
[12] D Nalbandian (ARG) vs P Mathieu (FRA)
F Lopez (ESP) vs [10] D Ferrer (ESP)
M Safin (RUS) vs [WC] L Hewitt (AUS)
[WC] M Gicquel (FRA) / P Mathieu (FRA) vs L Arnold Ker (ARG) / P Cuevas (URU)

COURT 2 start 12:30 pm
[WC] J Lisnard (MON) vs C Rochus (BEL)
J Monaco (ARG) vs [11] T Robredo (ESP)
I Karlovic (CRO) vs F Serra (FRA)

COURT 9 start 11:00 am
[16] N Almagro (ESP) vs A Montanes (ESP)
I Andreev (RUS) vs M Vassallo Arguello (ARG)
R Lindstedt (SWE) / R Soderling (SWE) vs S Aspelin (SWE) / W Moodie (RSA)
[5] B Soares (BRA) / K Ullyett (ZIM) vs M Cilic (CRO) / N Kiefer (GER)

Radek. Breaking Hearts All Over The Globe.

Radek single-handedly destroyed everyone's bracket today.  Thanks dude.  Your awesomeness knows no bounds.

Monday's Monte Carlo results:

Singles - First Round
[14] M Cilic (CRO) d [Q] F Cipolla (ITA) 63 62
[Q] N Lapentti (ECU) d [15] R Stepanek (CZE) 63 16 63
[Q] O Hernandez (ESP) d J Benneteau (FRA) 64 64
J Chela (ARG) d I Kunitsyn (RUS) 64 26 75
V Hanescu (ROU) d [Q] A Martin (ESP) 62 63
A Seppi (ITA) d J Melzer (AUT) 62 60
M Granollers (ESP) d J Acasuso (ARG) 76(4) 76(2)
J Monaco (ARG) d J Chardy (FRA) 62 75
M Gicquel (FRA) d E Schwank (ARG) 36 61 76(2)
[Q] A Beck (GER) d N Kiefer (GER) 16 76(1) 64
[WC] I Ljubicic (CRO) d [Q] K Vliegen (BEL) 64 67(5) 64

Doubles - First Round
A Montanes (ESP) / T Robredo (ESP) d T Berdych (CZE) / F Cermak (CZE) 64 75
F Lopez (ESP) / F Verdasco (ESP) d I Andreev (RUS) / M Safin (RUS) 76(3) 64
G Monfils (FRA) / S Wawrinka (SUI) d [WC] G Couillard (MON) / J Lisnard (MON) 75 63
N Djokovic (SRB) / V Troicki (SRB) d M Melo (BRA) / A Sa (BRA) 61 64

Agents Say The Darndest Things

Not even Team Ivanovic is immune from it:

"She's not Little Miss Perfect but the nice thing about Ana is she is very natural. She is very different to, say, Jelena Jankovic, the Williams sisters. You look at Maria Sharapova, these people, they are thinking: 'What can I do to be loved, to be more respected by my fans today?'

-- Dan Holzmann, Ana Ivanovic's manager.  Unnecessary, Dan.  Unnecessary.

You Know All Hell Will Break Loose When The Cone Is Your #1 Seed

I'm not really a Cone fan but I'm always interested in her results because for whatever reason I find her oddly intriguing.  Besides, she's always prone to some sort of meltdown on court so that keeps it fun. 

Eurosport called her performance today against fellow pastry Stephanie Cohen-Aloro "diabolical."  Somehow with the scoreline of 60 63 I think they were being kind.

Kid has a lot of points to defend in the clay season.  This is so not a good start.  And yes, you're welcome for that insightful tennis analysis.

The rest of the scores out of Barcelona:

Stephanie Cohen-Aloro (FRA) d. (1) Alize Cornet (FRA) 60 63
(2/WC) Flavia Pennetta (ITA) d. Petra Kvitova (CZE) 63 63
(7) Sara Errani (ITA) d. Mathilde Johansson (FRA) 26 75 63
Lucie Safarova (CZE) d. Tsvetana Pironkova (BUL) 61 36 60
Magdalena Rybarikova (SVK) d. Klara Zakopalova (CZE) 61 76(7)
Roberta Vinci (ITA) d. Pauline Parmentier (FRA) 64 76(7)

JJ Is Not A Lady GaGa Fan. Judge Her Accordingly.

Proof positive that IMG!JJ sucks. And I'm kinda growing to love AMG. The"What? It's just a fucking dance. What's your problem?" glare she shoots JJ is all kinds of awesome.

Pic This: Back Off, Honey. He's Married.

You do *not* want to get pistol whipped by a Blackberry.


I initially thought Fed had his hand in his pocket, which actually would have been awesome.