I have to admit. I laughed. There were some good ones.
Be a force all the way through the season
A hard-court major would be one good reason.
2. Roger Federer
Just win a Slam, any Slam will do
The French Open, though, would be a real breakthrough.
3. Novak Djokovic
Keep pushing upward, and they'll forgive your sins
Jokes are funnier when made by someone who wins.
4. Andy Murray
Go Slam-less this year and it'll be off with your head
Win Wimbledon and you'll be knighted instead.
1. Jelena Jankovic
Captured a few titles and reached No. 1, too
From now only a Grand Slam title will do.
2. Serena Williams
With ailments and pullouts you'll continue to tease
Still, why change when you can win whenever you please?
3. Dinara Safina
Little sis now stands as a true Slam threat
If not for the family genes, would be a sure bet.
4. Elena Dementieva
Winning a major will require another gear
One you haven't yet shown in a non-Olympic year.
I can't rhyme for crap so maybe that's why it cracked me up. If I were a rapper I'd be one of those rappers who doesn't really rap to a beat and kind of sounds like he/she is just reading their journal to background beats. It'd be so subversive though. But then, after all the Pitchfork and Stereogum hype, you'd stop to listen to it and realize it was shit.