It all started so harmlessly with an awesome picture of JJ holding a Mass of beer. And it (d)evolved into an awesome discussion of the ATP/WTA as highschool. Seriously, that thread rules so hard. Because the reality is that most of these tennis players never went to high school and had normal teenage socialization. You know what I'm talking about, boys starting to notice you and your boobies, dudes having to hide their boners in class, getting wedgied, sitting on the top of the cafeteria tables like a douche, rocking letterman jackets, making out against lockers, getting picked on until you just wanted to hide in the bathroom to eat your lunch. You know, the awesome memories!
So feel free to continue the discussion in the comments section to this post. Here are some choice comments to make you giggle coke out of your nose and get you up to speed:
"It's times like this that I wish
being #1 was more like being Class President in high school. The
homecoming dance would be so awesome if JJ was in charge. I mean, if
the cops didn't bust it up before it started." --Carrie
"It's hilarious to imagine the WTA
has highschool. JJ as Class President, Maria as the bitchy captain of
the volleyball team, Ana as the nice girl next door that all the hot
guys wanted to bang, and Serena as the diva that ran the joint." -- C Note
"I bet JJ did that horrible beer pour on purpose. She's the type who pretends she can't do anything correctly, so she can
giggle and flirt while asking nearby handsome boys for help. Remember how ridiculously inept she was trying to play the drum in
China? All the while letting her silk robe *accidentally* slip off her
shoulder so Ferru could get a peek...It's sooooooo high school.:)" -- vetmama
"I'm trying to figure out where
Dinara fits in. Tag-along little sister of the hot football captain,
with a desperate crush on her math tutor?" -- Carrie
"Nole is class clown, natch. I mean, come on, he's totes Screech. Rafa... Rafa... Rafa's gonna have to be the star of some team that
doesn't get as much attention as football/basketball. Soccer is pretty
natural, I guess. And all the girls have mad crushes on him but he's
completely oblivious." -- Carrie
"Rafa/Fez is priceless, no?" -- Healerheeler "I too see Andy as a total geek. Sitting in the library with his
laptop coding and watching YouTube videos, pissed off at the world and
at all his classmates at all times. Very unfriendly and prickly
character. I think class couple would have to be Fed and Mirka. Kuzzy is that weird floater girl. Smart but not super smart. Plays
sports, but is not a start. But is friends with every clique and
circle."-- C Note "Have we done Elf yet? Because I
see him as the new kid/freshman on the basketball team who's really shy
but actually quite smart even though nobody would expect it of him. We need more goth kids. Bolelli, maybe? I bet he would rock the eyeliner." -- Jenni "I don't think Radek can actually
be a student. I think he has to be someone's creepy cousin who
volunteered to chaperon the Spring Fling dance and ended up making out
with Nikki V. under the bleachers." -- Carrie "I'm
seeing Nadia/Dinara/Sveta as a mini-clique. It's good for Nadia and
Sveta to have each other to vent to because they are going to have to
be very tolerant of Dinara constantly swooning/crying over Zeljko. I also think maybe Flavia can be in the Ana clique. I'm not sure about Nicole and JJ, though. I mean, I don't think JJ
would cotton to someone falling out of the scene completely to hang out
with her loser boyfriend. There are dances and parties to plan, Model
UN conference to prepare for, car wash fundraisers to organize... and
it all has to happen so she can pad her college applications! So
there's no room for slackers." -- Carrie
"Think of the PTA!: Richard Williams, Can't remember his first name but, Maria Sharapova's dad. Snezana Jankovic, The Djokovics', Uncle Toni." -- Moonshine
"Geez...I gotta get in on this:)
Rafa and Roger both run for student council president...Rafa wins (of
course), leaving Roger to do all the real work although Rafa still gets
front and center for the yearbook picture. Nerdy girl Ana could be
secretary/treasurer, no?" -- rafadoc
"I could easily see Johnny Mac as
the friendly teacher. You know, the old "rebel" who comes back to his
old school and tries to still be hip with the kids, wearing the same
clothes, trying to talk the language, etc." -- antarctica
"Do we have a spot for Tipsy? He
has got to be a bad boy that all the girls secretly want to "be
with"..you know the one...not a jock or the one your mom would
pick...am I revealing too much of my personality here?" -- rafadoc
"Verdasco and Feli have to be included somewhere in this scenario. studly friends of soccer star ( Rafa ). they would be the guys who follow the big sports star around. the ones who send out texts saying
'Rafa for homecoming king , spread the word'" -- beth
"'Poor Marion. She's eating by herself alone in the cafeteria.' That's what happens when you've been home-schooled for so many years." -- Grant
"Serena and JJ are tangentially friendly acquaintances, because both will admit that the other throws a bitchin' party. But as you say they're too competitive socially and too close in class rank to really be friends. In general, Serena doesn't need a clique because everyone's too scared not to be nice to her anyway. Except maybe Cornetto, but Serena's going to graduate before she's a problem. The major plot point for Ana's clique is going to be wanting to get revenge on Flavia's hot but crass ex, but being too nice to actually follow through." -- Carrie
""Roger as the I know everything and the squeaky clean guy who puts up his hand at every question in class." He's Brandon Walsh! Fitting. Serena totally hangs out with the older crew that's graduated and the boys to stay out of the drama. She doesn't need to have an Mean Girls army because she totally runs that place anyway. The real throwdowns are between JJ's and Masha's crews of course." -- CMS
"I'm sure Bartoli also had the braces and backbrace to boot." -- coookies
"Gulbis parking his BMW and never
repeating his Abercrombie and Fitch clothes. Karlovic playing
basketball and practicing cross country. Novak and Roddick would
compete for the class clown title.
Clement being the substitute teacher who everybody thinks is gay but no
one feels like asking. though i think you guys are making Ana a bit too
of a pushover. yeah she's nice and sweet to everyone around her, but
you guys are exaggerating a bit, she's not THAT naive you know lol. she
would be the girl that every teacher likes. Safin would be the guy that
makes fun of everybody and is always late to class." -- parker
"Mahut HAS to be the front man (guitarist/vocalist) of the thrashy garage band. Kinda nerdy-edgy, skinny jeans, torn T-shirts and, of course, spikey hair. Youzhny is the crazy bass player. He's a little rhythmically challenged but when he loses the beat he just starts hitting his head on the neck of his bass to keep anyone from noticing. Lots of blood. Stan Wawrinka is the drummer, the strong quiet guy that keeps a steady beat. He later goes on to make millions with an internet startup company, and all the girls wish they had been interested in him in school. Andreev is the sweet guy with a steady girlfriend, and they walk around holding hands. He is fairly smart, well-rounded, wears glasses but looks good in them, and lots of the girls have a crush on him because he's nice and good-looking in a nonthreatening way. Davydenko is part of the "unseen" group that nobody remembers at the 10-year reunion. Probably spends his time outside of class working on yearbook. He's best friends with Karlovic, who tries his best to remain "unseen" even though he's as tall as a tree. The only time people really notice the two of them is when they walk around together, because the combination is so visually weird. Nalby is the football player that parties so much he's always at risk for getting thrown off the team, but he's so fun that everyone likes him. Gasquet is the troubled kid who doesn't say much, sits in the back of class and barely passes because he never turns in his homework and draws doodlings on his tests. Will he find solutions to the problems in his homelife, or will he turn to hard drugs? Tursunov is the jock who's main goal in life is to act cool, DJ all the happening parties, and get into as many girls' pants as possible. End of story. And, as someone mentioned above, Simone Bolelli has to be a goth." -- vetmama
"Lindsay Davenport can be the slightly depresses school counsellor." -- neilintoronto
"I keep imagining Murray in gem class. While Tursunov, Rafa, Andreev...etc are getting in the shower, he is just standing right there like a wet hamster looking at their six-pack and so scared to take off his clothes..meanwhile, Nalby has no problem showing his gut and while he is eating his cupcake he gives Murray some advice on how to feel comfortable with his body....Murray finally takes his clothes off and gets in the shower and Dmitry starts kicking his ass while Marat is pointing and laughing." -- Nancy
"I would have Justine now that she is retired as the gym mistress who insists on perfection and no talking in her class." -- Aussie Angel
"How cute/awkward would the freshman school dance be. The boys, Kei, JMDP, Giles, Marin on one side and the girls, Ski Boots, the Cone, Domi, Szavay, at the other end of the gym, too nervous to budge. And sooner or later a drunken Marat and his buddies crash the joint, much to the dismay of the chaporones, gym mistress Justine and guidance councelor Davenport." -- coookies
"You know how high school cheer squads always seem to have that one token guy? Yeah, totally PEHK. He would work that white polyester and megaphone like nobody's business, all the while subtly copping feels left and right." -- Jenni
"Seppi will be the guy who doesn't get any but determined to lose his virginity on prom night( he looks so stiff on court and the look on his face always says "My balls gonna blow up if I don't get laid soon" but maybe I'm the only one getting this vibe from him). Starace will be the bad ass, the kid with infamous reputation, selling drugs to other kids. Tipsy is the snobby guy thinking he is too good for this world and looking at the other boys, thinking to himself "I'm too smart for this shit, y'all are idiots, screw the world" -- Nancy
"I think Agi would fit into Masha's crew as well. The thing with the big 3: Serena, JJ and Masha is that I don't think they would have friends, but frenemies instead. Although I think JJ can be a geniune good friend, I just don't think she has the time between her extracurricular activities and constant flirting. I keep imagining Laura Robson as Samantha from Sixteen Candles, waiting for Jake Ryan(Marat Safin) to show up in his convertible and whisk her away." -- cookies
"Lleyton Hewitt would SO be the
preppy douchebag with the pop-up collared shirt and sweater tied around
his neck. He'd be from the rival private school, that dated the nice
girl, Kim C and broke her heart, so now they all hate him more." -- juicypear
